


Free

by JustTooMuch



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, Eventual Romance, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Moving Out of Darkness and Into Light, Triggers, heavy shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustTooMuch/pseuds/JustTooMuch
Summary: This man she married. Stephen Cowan. Brilliant Attorney. Pillar of the community. Cruel and abusive husband. Of course, he wouldn’t have that last one printed on his business cards.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is going to deal with the topic of domestic violence, especially in the first couple of chapters. This is not a topic that I take lightly at all and I feel it is one that should be openly discussed, without shame or embarrassment. Domestic violence is a sick and twisted behavior used to gain and maintain power and control over someone. Abuse can happen in any relationship and it can be inflicted on a person of any race, age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, educational background or income level which is why I feel it should be put out there in the public as much as possible. 
> 
> There will be triggers and I would advise using caution when reading. There are not any graphic depictions of abuse in this story but that is a very subjective statement to make because what's graphic to one person might not be to the next. 
> 
> I will do my best to write this topic the way it deserves and hopefully it will open up dialogue.

AVILA BEACH, CALIFORNIA

MARCH 14, 1999

 

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

“Ugh.” Dana Scully groans into her pillow, her right eye cracking open only far enough to allow her to see the alarm clock on the table bedside the bed. Slowly, she slides her hand over her pillow and to the snooze button on the clock. She squints as she turns the now silent clock towards her, checking the time.

_5:30 A.M._

Scully sighs as she closes her eye, not bothering to move her hand from the top of the clock. All she wants is a few more minutes of peaceful sleep, silently thanking whoever might be listening that her pager didn’t go off in the middle of the night. It had become a habit these past couple of weeks for the nurses at Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center to page her for every little thing that happened at the hospital. She loved her job, she really did, but she also loved her sleep and she was more than thankful she was finally able to sleep through the night without interruption.

“Morning, Dana.” Her husband’s voice echoed off the walls of the adjoining bathroom and carried into the bedroom, giving her an unpleasant chill.

Scully opened her eyes, blinking a few times and letting them adjust to the light. She looked to the opened bathroom door and watched him watch her. He was unscrewing the cap on the toothpaste, his eyes tracing over her body in the bathroom mirror. He smiled before picking up his toothbrush and she felt nauseated. She swallowed her disgust and slowly sat up, stretching just a little as she took in his fully clothed form. It wasn’t like him to be up earlier than she was especially when he was gone for most of the night. “You’re up early.”

He nodded his head as he set to work brushing his teeth, speaking around his toothbrush. “Meeting new clients today.”

Scully nodded once and watched as he brushed his teeth and scrutinized his face closely in the mirror, no doubt looking for any imperfections he would need to take care of. This man she married. Stephen Cowan. Brilliant Attorney. Pillar of the community. Cruel and abusive husband. Of course, he wouldn’t have that last one printed on his business cards. “I thought you were taking some time off.”

“That was the plan, but these clients are high profile.” Stephen says before rinsing the toothpaste from his mouth and brush. “Are you going to miss me?” He grins and turns around to face her.

“I’ll make it.” Scully pushes the comforter back and swings her legs off the side of the bed. She is about to stand up but pauses when Stephen starts walking towards her. She tracks his every move, her hands subtly gripping the edge of the mattress tighter as he steps in between her legs and cups her face.

“What time do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

“I’m thinking around five if my surgeries go as planned.” Scully faintly leans her face away from his hand, minimizing the contact as much as she can without insulting him. 

“Good. I told one of the partners at the firm you and I would be attending his housewarming party this evening. It’s an excellent opportunity for me to mix with the higher ups.” He strokes her cheek and smiles. “And show off the beautiful Mrs. Dana Cowan, M.D.”

Scully stands up, effectively removing his hand from her cheek without actually having to do it, and moves to step around him. “I’ll have to remember that’s my name tonight.”

Stephen roughly grabs Scully’s arm and squeezes hard, pulling her to him so her arm is crushed against his chest. Her eyebrows draw together at the pain but she keeps her face straight ahead and her jaw clenched. She shutters when he leans down and whispers in her ear. “Cowan is your name _every_ night. The only reason I permit you using Scully at the hospital is because of the reputation you have built for us under that name, but don’t you dare think for a second that _my_ wife won’t have _my_ name. Do you understand me?”

Scully takes a deep breath before turning her face slightly towards him. “Yes.”

“Good.” Stephen pushes Scully away from him, enjoying the way she stumbles slightly. He feels his chest swell at how easy she is to control. “Wear something sexy tonight. Pick a dress that shows off either your legs or tits, not both. I don’t need people talking about what a slut I married.”

“I’ll see what I can find in the back of the closet.” Scully mumbles as she makes her way to the bathroom, but before she makes it through the doorway, she feels Stephen behind her, his hands resting on her hips, pulling her back towards him. She closes her eyes tightly at what she feels pressing against her and swallows the bile that suddenly fills her throat. Her body tenses under his touch as his right hand dips below the waist of her pajama pants and moves harshly against her dry body.

“I look forward to seeing what you find. These past couple of weeks have been hell without you in my bed. It was a shame last night I had to work late, otherwise you know I would have ravished you when I got home. Maybe tonight?” Stephen whispers in her ear before kissing her earlobe and slowly trailing kisses down her neck. “Or right now? I have time.”   

“I don’t.” Scully’s voice is thick with repulsion but Stephen never seems to notice that. Or if he does, he certainly never cares.

“Yes, you do.” Stephen’s kisses burn her neck like the most painful fire, his fingers rubbing her with no effect. Just another thing he never notices or cares about.   

Scully feels her eyes becoming damp as she keeps them closed, hoping the tears won’t escape this time. She tries to will her body to relax, to make it less painful, but when he pushes her face first against the wall, roughly pulls down her pants, and begins to undo his belt, her body tenses up and she opens her eyes, pushing against his hand on her neck. “Stephen, stop. I said I don’t have enough time for this.”

Stephen pauses and laughs, short and humorlessly, but he stops. “You never have time for this, Dana. I’ll be quick, I swear.”

For a moment, Scully thinks he is actually waiting for permission until he starts to unbutton his pants. She pushes against him but he tightens his hold around her neck and pushes her further into the wall. “I don’t want to do this now. Please stop.”

The zipper slides down.

“Don’t, Stephen. I’m serious.”

The belt makes a sickening sound as it crashes to the floor along with his pants and boxers.

“No!”

Stephen’s hand covers Scully’s mouth and he whispers sweet nothings in her ear as her muffled cries echo around the house.

Twelve hours later, after a long and tiring shift full of surgeries and sick patients, Scully was back in their bedroom standing in front of the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door. She ran a hand over her abdomen and her hip, turning to the side to inspect her form in the little black dress she had decided to wear for the evening. It was tight and showed off her legs, the bottom ending just above her knee. She could only hope that this dress wouldn’t start any fights. She didn’t have the energy anymore. She sighed and brushed a stand of hair behind her ear just as the bedroom door was pushed open. She took a few quick steps back, barely avoiding getting hit with the door.

“Wow.” Stephen let his eyes roam over her body. “You look so beautiful, darling. You look perfect.”

Scully managed a small smile. It was one of the fakest smiles she has ever had on her lips but she knew it would pass for a real one. Stephen hadn’t seen her true smile in years. Come to think of it, neither has she. “Thank you. Are we ready to leave?” 

“Just about.” Stephen reaches for Scully’s hands and pulls her body to his. He cups her cheeks and kisses her on the lips, making a move to deepen the kiss. Instead of opening her mouth to him, she breaks the kiss and pulls away, relieved when he simply smiles at her and walks out of the room. She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath in before grabbing her purse and following him down the stairs.

At the party, everyone is polite enough to Scully. She even manages to find a group of women to talk with who are interested in something other than Better Homes and Gardens. The night isn’t actually all that bad all things considered. Stephen left her at the front door and she hasn’t seen him since, her dress makes her feel sexy and confident, and people are genuinely interested in having a conversation with her. She even manages to find a fellow doctor to talk shop with until he notices a bruise on her bicep. She quickly spins a riveting tale of how an unruly patient grabbed her, a story that she has told many times before to cover up unwanted marks on her body, and just like every other time, her story is believed.

“Hi.”

Scully blinks slowly at the voice in her ear and the hand at her waist. “Hi.”

“Would you excuse us? I need to speak with my wife.” Stephen speaks sweetly to the doctor Scully was talking to, smiling when the other man nods and makes his way over to another couple. Once the man is out of earshot, he places a kiss on the shell of her ear. “Being friendly, are we?”

Scully sighs and pulls away, turning around to look at Stephen. “Just like you asked.”

“I didn’t ask you to flirt with another man.”

“I was not flirting.” Scully snorts. “I don’t even remember how to.”

Stephens’s eyes flash with something unreadable before his happy, loving husband routine comes back to the surface. He reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together. “I want you with me for the rest of night. I missed you all evening.”

Somehow, Scully doubts very much that’s the real reason Stephen refuses to let go of her hand. She lets her hand be held in his, limply, as he directs her in this direction and the next. She is smiling brightly, making small talk, nodding her head when people address her as Mrs. Cowan, and not at all looking like she wants to walk out of here and never look back. She has mastered the fine art of hiding her true feelings and emotions. It’s hard sometimes but she knows what would happen if she showed the outside world even the smallest glimpse of what goes on behind their closed doors.

Halfway through the night, in the middle of Stephen’s story about having to fire one of the secretaries for botching important paperwork, Scully’s pager beeps loudly in her purse. All eyes shift to her and she smiles apologetically, not at all surprised when everyone returns her smile except her husband. He frowns with fake concern but his hand crushes her fingers with very real anger.

“I’m sorry, it’s the hospital.” Scully pulls her hand free and digs in her purse, pulling out her pager.

Stephen chuckles and wraps his arm around Scully’s shoulders. “My wife is one of the best surgeons at that hospital. I swear they call her for absolutely everything.”

A few people laugh softly and others smile in understanding as Scully holds up her pager in apology. “I have to go into work.”

“How long do you think you’ll be?” Stephen asks as he pulls her closer to him, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Long enough for you not to wait up.” Scully’s eyes ice over as she looks at Stephen with the same disgust she did this morning. His smile falters ever so slightly but he quickly recovers, after all, he is the master of keeping up appearances. He leans down to kiss her lips but she pulls away, apologizes one last time to the people around her, and makes her way outside to call a cab to pick her up. A common cab instead of a fancy town car will cause him to rage later and yet, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care because she has finally had enough, after all these years, she is finally done.

It only takes Scully an hour to get to the hospital, check the vitals of her most recent surgery patient, calm down anxious parents, and retreat to the quiet of her office. She doesn’t bother to turn on the lights as she sheds her white coat and hangs it up. She slowly makes her way over to the window, rolling the tension out of her neck as she walks. One of few things she will miss about this life is her work here. It’s hard and challenging most days but more rewarding than anything she has ever experienced and she will miss her patients and the staff. Turning towards her desk, she sits down in her chair and smiles just a little as she opens her desk drawer, examining all the important documents she will need. Her divorce paperwork that now only needs one person’s signature to make it final, her one way plane ticket to Washington D.C., the official copy of her apartment lease that was faxed to her this morning, and her offer of employment with MedStar Washington Hospital Center.

With a deep, shuttering breath, Scully closes the drawer and begins to silently sob, her face buried in her hands. Her body was shaking with the force of her cries, unbridled relief coming to the surface. She was going to be free. Free of pain and shame and loneliness. She had finally taken the steps to free herself and it had been a long time coming.

Scully had met Stephen about a year after she had graduated medical school through some mutual friends who thought two very intelligent, driven, and hardworking people would make an excellent couple. They went on dates, flirted, and grew to like each other and eventually she fell in love with him. Or at least what she thought was love. For the three years they had dated and the year after they married, he treated her with respect, kindness, and never once raised his voice at her let alone his hand, so when the first outburst happened, it shocked her to her core. She never would have thought he could say the things he said to her, call her those names, or physically harm her to the point she had to take five days off work. He had apologized to her relentlessly, showering her with gifts and affection until she forgave him. She had forgiven him and she couldn’t explain why but she never forgot. And she never forgot the next time it happened, or the time after that, or after that, or the hundreds of other times he has made her feel less than human. She will _never_ forget. No matter how hard she tries now, those memories will always be with her.

For two years, Scully never told a soul. When asked why she stayed by her sobbing mother and enraged father, she opened her mouth to give an answer but nothing came out. She had no idea why she had stayed with Stephen and let him control her and hurt her. It certainly wasn’t out of love for him. She fell out of love with him a long time ago. It wasn’t out of embarrassment of being a victim of domestic violence or the social stigma that comes with that or the fear of not being financially independent because she was before him and will be after him. It was only when she allowed the tears to fall for herself in the safety of her sister’s arms, she finally allowed herself to accept why. It was out of fear. He had threatened her and her family hundreds of times if she ever even suggested leaving him. She had no way of knowing if he would follow through with his threats but the last thing she wanted was for her family to be in danger, so she stayed and she stayed quiet.

One night, almost one year ago when Stephen was away on business, it had become too much for Scully and she begged her family to stay with her while he was gone, offering to pay for their plane tickets as long as they would be with her. The first night they were all together, was the night she had told them everything. The first night she had cried for herself. The first night she had been asked why she stayed and why she never spoke about it. The first night she felt supported and truly safe. It was also the night she began to deconstruct her old life and start building her new one.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost midnight by the time Scully returned home from the hospital. Quietly, she unlocked the front door and stepped inside, looking around the dark living room. A soft, thankful sigh fell from her lips when she saw no sign of Stephen waiting up for her. She turned and closed the door, stepping out of her heels as she set the locks and alarms. The tension in her neck from earlier was still there and she rolled her head to the side as she turned away from the door and made her way into the kitchen. Not bothering to turn on any lights, she rubbed the back of her neck with one hand as she opened the refrigerator with the other, grabbing the unopened bottle of white wine chilling in there. She would have a drink or two and then fall asleep on the couch making some excuse about being too tired to make her way upstairs when he asks tomorrow.

“You know who I always admired?”

Stephen’s voice coming from somewhere behind Scully makes her jump and spin around almost dropping the wine. She places her free hand over her heart as she breathes in deeply, watching him cross his arms over his chest and lean against the kitchen counter. When she catches her breath, she lowers her hand from her chest and closes the refrigerator door. “Who?”

“Attorney Courtney Shaw. Do you know her?”

Scully’s heart begins to beat faster and she can feel her chest becoming hotter. She wills her voice to stay steady and calm. “You’ve mentioned her before but I don’t know her personally.”

Stephen smiles and uncrosses his arms, taking a small step towards Scully. “She is a damn fine divorce attorney. Probably one of the best in southern California.” He steps closer and closer to her until she can feel his body heat. “And from what I’ve heard, you _do_ know her personally. When did you talk to her? When did you ask her to file our divorce?”

“Stephen, I have never spoken to that woman in my life.” Scully swallows hard, her lie sounding shaky to her ears.

“Oh, yes you have.” Stephen takes the wine bottle from Scully’s trembling hand and sets it on the kitchen counter. “Let me jog your memory.” He grabs a fist full of her hair and yanks her head back and up to his face, his smile growing at her short gasp of pain and the way her eyes squeeze shut. “Attorney Courtney Shaw. Tall, brown hair, blue eyes. Has been a divorce lawyer for about twenty years and has an outstanding reputation in the field for working with abused wives and husbands, assuring them their abusive spouse won’t know about the divorce until it is absolutely necessary. She prides herself on deceit, Dana. Fortunately, her disgruntled secretary does not. I had the pleasure of interviewing Attorney Shaw’s former secretary for a positon with the firm and she told me she recognized my last name. Imagine my surprise when she offered her condolences for my marriage.”

Stephen closes his fist and connects it with Scully’s jaw causing her to scream out in pain. He releases his grip on her hair and watches as she falls to the ground. “Imagine my _humiliation_!” He kicked her in the stomach before crouching down beside her, grabbing her red jaw and turning her face up. He brushed away the tears that were streaking down her face before slapping her, loving the way she tries not to let the pain show, clenching her teeth together minimizing the sound of her cry. He loves when she tries to act stronger than she is. “I already told you what would happen if you leave me, Dana. I fucking love you and I will not live without you. Do you understand me?”

Scully whimpered and used her hands to push herself away from him. “Yes.”

“I hope you do.” Stephen pushes Scully away, stands up, and looks down at her with what can only be described as abhorrence, even after his declaration of love. “Now I’m going to have to deal with your bad mood for the next week, aren’t I?”

Scully looks up at him, tears pouring from her eyes. “No.”

“You’re such a damn liar.” Stephen grabs the bottle of wine from the counter, steps over Scully, and opens the refrigerator and puts the bottle back. “You’ll act like I’m the bad guy here and piss and moan around the house like you’re such a victim.” He slams the refrigerator door shut and turns his attention to her. “You’re not a victim, Dana. You deserve what you get. I would have never hit you tonight if you wouldn’t have gone behind my back and started filing for divorce. Do you even know how badly that hurts? Do you know how badly it hurts _me_ to do this to you?”

Scully shakes with fear, pain, and loathing and brings one hand up to feel her face. As far as she can tell, her jaw isn’t broken but there will severe bruising and tenderness that even her makeup won’t hide and over the counter pain medication won’t cure. She closes her eyes and drops her hand back to the floor, holding her breath and waiting for Stephen’s next blow. When nothing comes, she opens her eyes and looks up at him standing over her, smiling. He thinks he owns her and has all the power in the world over her.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Stephen holds out a hand for her to take.

Scully bats his hand away and scoots further away from him on the floor. “No.”

“See, this is the mood I was talking about.” Stephen sighs before leaning down and grabbing the front of her dress, forcing her upper body to press into his, her hands coming up to push on his shoulders. “I said we are going to bed, so get up and come to the bedroom.”

Stephen doesn’t let go of Scully’s dress until she manages to awkwardly stand up with him. When she finds balance on her feet, she drops her hands from his shoulders and lets them hang loosely at her sides, her head turning away from him as he traces the outline of her swelling jaw with the hand not pulling on her dress. “You are not allowed to leave me, Dana. I love you.” When she doesn’t respond or turn her head, he smacks her aching jaw once again, causing more tears to pool in her eyes as she slowly turns her head to look at him. “Say it. Tell me how much you love me.” He spits out.

“I hate you.” Scully’s voice comes out in a hushed whisper.

Stephen’s eyes blaze in an instant and he wastes no time dragging Scully up to the bedroom. He’ll never admit it, but one of the reasons he loves this house so much is no one is around for miles to hear her screaming all through the night. He’s free to do to her whatever he pleases with no nosy neighbors knocking on their front door in concern.

The next morning, sunlight streams through the bedroom windows making Scully’s already pounding headache worse. She gingerly rolls onto her stomach and lets her face bury into the soft pillow, successfully blocking out the light. What a new position on the bed couldn’t unfortunately block out was the dip in the mattress, the unwelcomed weight of a body sitting next to her hip, and those hands combing through her hair. Those same hands that had caused her so much pain, and no doubt numerous bruises and scratches last night, have the audacity to try and be gentle with her this morning. She doesn’t even bother moving.

“Honey, I’m heading out to work now and I called in sick for you at the hospital so you can just stay in bed and relax today.” Stephen whispers softly before leaning forward and placing a kiss to the back of her head. “I’ll see you when I get home tonight.”

Scully doesn’t move or speak or give any indication whatsoever that she is even awake and she waits until she hears the front door locking and Stephen’s car pulling out of the driveway before she turns her head to the right and opens her eyes. Today is the last day that she will ever be in this house and the thought fills her with nothing but happiness. A year ago, when she thought about getting to this point, she had always imagined that she would be filled with some sort of sadness about leaving behind a life that she had built here and she was surprised to find she was overcome with only pure joy. That same joy is what gave her the strength to push herself out of bed, get dressed, and call her brother, Bill, telling him she needed him to make the six hour drive from San Diego to Avila Beach as fast as he could while she rushed to her office to gather her paperwork.  

Scully felt like she was moving a hundred miles a minute all day. After she had gotten up, dressed, covered up her fresh battle wounds as best as she could, and dropped off her unfinished divorce papers at her attorney’s office with the reassurance Attorney Shaw understood the situation and would take care of it, she rushed home and began to pack what little items she was planning on taking with her to Washington D.C. It was almost four in the evening when she was ready to head to the airport and her nerves were on edge. Stephen would be home any minute and she was hoping Bill would beat him to it. She was finally able to sigh in relief when she heard the sound of tires going over gravel and went to the front door to watch her brother and three of his Navy buddies getting out of a truck.

“Not a moment too soon.” Scully whispered, her blood freezing over as she watched Stephen’s car pull into the driveway. She could see his face from where she was standing in the doorway, her luggage surrounding her, and he was livid.   

“Dana!” Stephen fumed as he quickly got out of the car, slammed the door, and eyed the four men who had turned around to face him. There was no question in his voice because he knew exactly what she was trying to do. There was only anger. Anger because he knew she was going to get away from him. “I see your big brother thinks he's a big man with all his friends around.”

Bill snorted in revulsion and turned, making his way to Scully and her luggage. He placed a quick kiss on the top of her head in greeting causing her to smile softly, before carrying her bags to his truck, his friends watching Stephen like hawks. 

Stephen took a step forward. “Dana, if this is about our fight last night, _you_ know I’m sorry.”

Scully let out a harsh, sullen laugh before speaking, her eyes turning red with unshed tears. “This isn’t about fighting because we _don’t_ fight. _You_ have done so many… _horrible_ things to me and _you_ know that. You know exactly why I’m leaving.” 

Stephen takes another step forward but doesn’t dare try and stop Scully as she makes her way to the truck when he is outnumbered four to one. “Please don’t walk out, Dana. I will do anything for you. Anything to make you stay.”

“My attorney will be in touch. She’ll be expecting you to sign the divorce papers within the next week and so do I.”

“How can you do this?! Please! How can you throw away our life together?!”

Scully had enough. She had her hand on the passenger side door and was about to open it when Stephen started his begging routine. She let go of the door and quickly made her way around the tuck, past her brother and his friends and straight to her soon to be ex-husband. When she was standing toe to toe with him, her teeth bared and fire in her eyes, she slapped her hands on his chest and pushed him so hard he stumbled backwards. Without giving him time to recover, she surged forward and pushed him again, harder this time. “My life hasn’t had a chance to begin because of you!” Another push. “You’ve beaten me senseless when you were supposed to hold me!” A sharp slap to the face. “You’ve called me every derogatory name in the book when you were supposed to call me ‘baby.’” She was about to slap him again when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back. “You’ve f-forced yourself on me when you were supposed to make love to me!” She hears Bill whisper in her ear soothingly and she begins to cry, letting him help her into the truck and shutting the door. “You’ve ruined me and I hate you! I fucking hate you!” She cries silently, her face buried in her hands, vaguely aware of the truck starting to move and the soft hands rubbing circles on her back. The tears continue to fall silently all the way to the airport.  

“Alright, sister, you have everything you need?” Bill asks as he places his hands on Scully’s shoulders.

Scully smiles just a little and looks around the busy airport before looking back at Bill. “Yes, I got all of my paperwork out of my former office and its right here.” She pats the carry-on bag in her hand.

“Good. Now, you know you’re going to mom and dad’s house until you're set up in your apartment. Melissa will pick you up from the airport in D.C. and drive you there. Charlie will be getting there from New York tomorrow and I will be able to fly over next week. We all want to be there for you, for however long you need. For _anything_ you need.” Bill squeezes her shoulders softly.

Scully sighs, a deep affection for her family lacing it. “I know.”

The corners of Bill’s lips turn up in a slight smile but his eyes are heavy with a deep pain. His _baby sister_ has been living inside her own personal hell for years, suffering alone for too long. He, and the rest of the family, wondered how they had missed what she was going through. Did they just miss all the signs? Scully had assured them all that there weren’t any signs. She didn’t drop hints and she didn’t expect them to know. She didn’t _want_ them to know for their own safety. That didn’t stop them, especially their mother, from being weighed down with immense guilt. Even now that she was free.

_Free._

“You’re free.” Bill whispers to Scully as he pulls her in for a soft hug, wrapping his arms loosely around her shoulders making sure to be mindful of any bruises she might have on her body. The thought makes his stomach turn with nausea.

“I am.” Scully whispers back, breathing deeply as she wraps her arms around Bill’s waist, closing her eyes for a moment as her head rests on his chest. The sudden burning in her eyes felt wonderful and as one single tear slipped past her eyelashes and rolled down her cheek, she smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

WASHINGTON D.C.

APRIL 16, 1999

 

One month. It had been one month since Scully left her old life behind and started a new one in D.C. It had been one month since she started working in the emergency department at MedStar Washington Hospital Center. It had been one month since she moved into her apartment in the beautiful neighborhood of Georgetown and wasn’t afraid to come home after work. It had been one month since she was hit. One month since she was kicked. One month since her body was used for someone else’s pleasure. One month since she left the man she loathed with every part of her. She had finally started to feel good and she knew she deserved to.

Washington D.C. wasn’t anything like Avila Beach and Scully couldn’t be happier about it. She had made the decision to move to D.C. to be closer to her parents and sister, purely for emotional support and it turned out that the culture shock was one of the best things for her right now. She enjoyed her days and she was starting to enjoy her nights, only having nightmares that she was still with Stephen about once a week now. The first couple of weeks were the hardest, waking up every night in a cold sweat with tears pouring down her face exhausted her and embarrassed her but slowly they started to become less vivid and happen less often. There were still some nights when she would wake up screaming, though. Luckily, some nights she didn’t have time to sleep because, just like in Avila Beach, she was paged into work on a continual basis, but she loved it. She especially loved the busy nights, like tonight, because it kept her mind occupied.

Quickly walking down the hall, Scully made her way to room 109 with fresh x-rays in her hand. When she got to the closed door, she knocked twice before pushing it open, smiling apologetically at the FBI agent in the bed who had been rolled into the ER roughly two hours ago with a severely injured leg. He had finally been cleaned up and x-rayed, but his wait time was still poor in her opinion. She extended her smile to the two new people in the room, a woman with kind eyes and a man smiling almost shyly at her. She let her eyes trace over the mystery man more than once before she cleared her throat and opened the file in her hand, taking out the x-rays and hanging them up on the light board. She turned her attention to her patient in the bed. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long, Agent Doggett, but I do have good news for you.” 

“I’m going to make it, Doc?” Doggett asked with a small wince of pain as he tried to sit up straighter, prompting the woman to adjust his pillows. “Thank you, Monica.”

Scully smiled at the sweet display before nodding her head. “Yes, you are going to make it. You have a broken tibia.” She traced her finger over the x-ray, bringing attention to the crack in the bone. “The blood on your leg made the injury look a lot worse than it actually is. By the way, all that blood that wasn’t yours…” She raised her right eyebrow, her question lingering in the air.

Doggett held his hands up. “Suspects blood, I swear. Bastard gave as good as he got, though.” He grimaced as a sharp twinge of pain shot through his leg.

“Yeah, and _he_ can heal himself. You haven’t crossed that evolutionary line yet.”

Everyone’s attention turned to the other man in the room. Scully’s eyebrows creased in confusion and she tilted her head slightly to the right, the way she always does when she is utterly confused by something. “Excuse me?”

The man smiled coyly at Scully, his eyes softening. “It’s a long story.” He paused for a second and his smile grew hopeful. “One that would probably be best told over coffee? Tomorrow night maybe?”

Scully’s eyebrows shot up and her mouth opened just slightly as the woman who had been identified as Monica snorted and Doggett grinned as he shook his head before speaking. “Please, Doc, feel free to ignore him.”

Scully regarded Doggett for a moment before turning her eyes on the man with the gorgeous smile. “Your friend is in the hospital with a broken leg. Maybe you should focus on that.” She made sure to keep her tone light enough not to offend, but her eyes were serious and made her intentions clear. That last thing she needed right now was coffee with a man she didn’t know anything about. Even if that man had really gorgeous hazel eyes to go with that gorgeous smile. She let her eyes linger on his face for a beat, noticing the way his eyes dimmed slightly at her rejection, before looking at her patient. “Sixteen weeks. That’s how long you’re looking at being in a cast.”

“What?” Doggett’s eyes widened as he sat up impossibly straighter.

“You’ll also need physical therapy to restore the muscle strength that will be lost.” Scully pressed on gently. Hearing the news your leg will be out of commission for months is a hard thing to take and she knows that well.

“Jesus.” Doggett mumbled as he let his head fall back against the pillows.

“Hey, be thankful _this_ is the worst that happened.” Monica spoke softly, her own relief palpable.

Scully nodded her head once before turning to the x-rays and removing them from the light board, placing them back in the file. She makes her way over to Doggett and extends her free hand to him. “Someone will be in shortly to cast your leg and you will be ready to go.”

Doggett nods solemnly as he shakes Scully’s hand. “Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you, Doctor.” Monica says with a smile as she too shakes Scully’s hand.

Scully nods to both of them one last time before stepping around the bed and holding out her hand for the man who takes an eager step forward and reaches for it. He smiles at her, his hand softly holding hers. “Thanks for not cutting off his leg. Working with him would have been unbearable.”

The corners of Scully’s mouth twitch up as he continues to hold her hand, not even bothering to shake it anymore. “You’re very welcome.” She pauses as her eyes shift from his shinning ones to their linked hands and back up again, her right eyebrow raising. “Can I have my hand back?”

The man’s lips turn down just a little, his eyebrows coming together in confusion for a moment before he looks down at their linked hands. “Oh!” He quickly lets go of Scully’s hand like it burned him and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Scully’s smile grows ever so slightly at the tinge of red starting to form on his cheeks before she glances at Doggett, pointing a finger at him. “No more broken bones.”

“You got it.” Doggett salutes Scully as she turns and walks out, quietly closing the door behind her.

The agents wait until they see the door shut completely and hear heels clicking down the hallway before they burst out laughing.

“Mulder.” Reyes covers her mouth with her hand to hide her smile, but the pity in her voice was heard loud and clear and made Mulder tilt his head back and groan. 

“Seriously, what even was that?” Doggett asked with a shake of his head.

With his hands on his hips, Mulder lets his head fall forward and nods in frustration, his eyes closed as he replays the last five minutes over and over again. When she walked into the room, it was like no one else in the room mattered, not what they said or did, just her. He could feel himself staring and in the back of his mind he knew he needed to stop but he just couldn’t. Everything about her drew him in, especially her eyes. They were so bright and so blue and just so… “Stunning.” 

“Yes, your lack of game was stunning.” Doggett spoke while nodding his head.

Mulder glared in Doggett’s direction before walking out the door, closing it slowly as he glanced in both directions of the hallway, when his eyes caught sight of red hair turning the corner. He paused, briefly wondering if she would consider it stalking if he followed, but he knew that if he didn’t, she would invade his thoughts until he would have a chance to see her again. If he even got that chance. So he walked in the same direction she went, rounding the corner, and stopping when he caught sight of her standing at a small coffee stand. His steps faltered, his dress shoes squeaking against the tiled floor. He turns sharply and begins walking away when the realization hits him that he doesn’t stand any kind of chance with the doctor and that she already turned him down once.

But then again…Mulder turns back around sharply, making up his mind that he needs to at least offer up an apology for possibly making her uncomfortable back in the room. It was a weak excuse to talk to her at best, but it was all he had. But his steps faltered and he almost turned around again when he saw her looking right at him. She was waiting for her coffee by the looks of it and one arch of her eyebrow and twitch of her lips sent him in her direction.

“Hi again.” Mulder smiled as he spoke, his hands falling into his pockets.

“Hi.” Scully spoke slowly, her tone conveying a question. “Does Agent Doggett need something?”

Mulder was having a hell of a time trying to comprehend what she was saying when her eyes locked with his, so he just stared at her, knowing full well how bizarre he was acting and that she was probably about to run for her life at any moment.

Instead of running, Scully pointed her thumb in the direction of Doggett’s room and raised her eyebrows. “Your friend?”

Mulder mentally slapped himself. “Oh, no, no, he’s fine. I, uh, actually just wanted to talk to you.”

Mulder didn’t miss how she subtly stepped away from him before turning towards the counter where her coffee had just been set down. “What about?” She questioned cautiously as she pulled money out of her pocket.

“May I?” Mulder asked as he pulled out his wallet, preparing to pay for her coffee.   

“No.” Scully answered sharply as she placed the cash on the counter and picked up her coffee before looking back at the man who had been nothing but sweet to her. She felt a brief moment of guilt at her harsh tone before she remembered just how sweet Stephen was when they first met. Even still…there was something different about this man standing in front of her, hurt clearly reflecting in his eyes. Stephen’s dark brown, almost black eyes never looked hurt, just angry. She stares at him for a beat, her eyes roaming over his face searching for…something, before she sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“No, hey, don’t apologize.” Mulder’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he puts his wallet back into his pocket. “I just wanted to tell you…thanks for cleaning up my partner back there.”

Scully watches as he backs up slowly, turns, and starts to walk away. Then she smiles, an actual full, honest smile, when he turns back around and grins at her a little nervously.

“That’s not all. I also wanted to try my luck at asking you out…again.” Mulder’s uncertain grin growing more confident by the second as he takes a small step forward, the fact that her smile wasn’t wavering giving him hope.

Scully allowed herself a small moment of indulgence as her eyes swept over his hopeful face, his solid chest, and finally his gentle eyes, her mind wondering what it would be like to allow herself this. To allow herself to say yes to his invitation, have dinner with him, flirt with him, and maybe do a little bit more than flirting with him at the end of night. She permitted herself to smile softly at the fantasy that would never become reality with this man. She had no idea how long it would take her to truly feel ready to date someone again. To trust someone again and have an intimacy with them. She did know one thing, though. She wasn’t ready tonight and he certainly wouldn’t be ready to hear the real reason she was about to turn him down again. She was traumatized by her marriage, the abuse that went on, and it affected her greatly. That topic is hardly first meeting material. “Why do you want to go out with me? You know nothing about me.”

Mulder shook his head with the smile of a man knowing he’s about to be rejected for the second time. “Not true. I know three things.” He held up three fingers. “One, you’re a doctor.” He lowered one finger as his tone changed from playful to sincere. “Two, you’re beautiful.” He lowered another finger as a delicate blush started to form on her cheeks, her eyes lowering to the ground. “And three…” He paused, waiting for her to look up at him. When she did, he lowered his hand and spoke with more confidence than he felt in this moment. “I know I want to get to know you and that’s what dates are for.”

Scully sighed. “I’m flattered, but I’m not interested right now.”

“Just for right now?”

Mulder’s optimism was charming and Scully huffed out a small laugh as she took two steps back. “Have a good night.” And with that, she turned and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

Tonight had been one of the longest shifts of Scully’s life and it was only half over…if she was lucky. It was a Saturday night, so as expected, the emergency room was overwhelmed with cases ranging from the truly horrible to a case of a bruised finger that couldn’t wait until Monday. She had been steadily working all night without any breaks. It wasn’t until her stomach rumbled in a very loud protest, interrupting her while she was trying to explain a medical procedure to a very sacred six year old girl and her parents, that she decided to take a quick lunch break…at two in the morning.

Sighing, Scully pulled up the sleeve of her white coat and glanced at her watch before dropping her arm and shaking the sleeve down as she made her way to the locker rooms. It had been almost eight hours since her last meal and she needed something before she passed out and become one of the many emergencies in this hospital.

However, before Scully could get two feet away, someone yelled her name causing her to sigh once again and turn around. She watched as one of the nurses jogged to her, an apologetic smile on her lips and a file in her hand. When the nurse reached her, she held out the file. “One more?”

Scully smiled wearily and took the file, opening it to glance over the case. “What do we have?”

The nurse grinned. “A quick one. An FBI agent fell from a tree and was unconscious for approximately one minute. Initial scans all look good and vitals are normal. He just needs a once over from an _actual_ doctor before he can be discharged.”

Scully had closed the file after hearing all was well and watched with amusement when the nurse used air quotations around the word "actual." She had worked with her fair share of nurses who did more for patients than doctors ever did and were underappreciated. “If it wasn’t for protocol, doctors would be out of jobs.”

“Damn straight.” The nurse nodded her head once before smiling at Scully and walking away.

Scully laughed softly and shook her head before making her way to room 109. Suddenly, a thought hits her, and her forehead creases as she stops walking and opens the file, checking the room number again. Room 109 once again has an injured FBI agent in it. She closes the file and begins walking again, a little slower, mentally calculating the odds of that happening two nights in a row. When she knocks on the door twice before slowly opening it, the odds in her head suddenly decrease drastically.

With only a slight hesitation, Scully opens the door fully and steps in, the corners of her lips turning up a little when she sees the man in the bed as she closes the door behind her, never taking her eyes off her grinning patient.

“Is this kismet or what?” Mulder asks softly as he sits up in bed.

Scully licks her lips as she opens the file, purposely ignoring his question and willing her smirk to disappear. “Was it harvest time for you?” She asks as she quickly rereads over the incident that brought him to the hospital tonight.

“What?” Mulder asks with a confused chuckle.

“FBI or not, you can still get arrested for walking onto someone’s property and stealing apples.” Scully looked up at him as she closed the file and placed it on the table at the foot of Mulder’s bed.

“Oh, that was all part of my investigation.” Mulder nodded his head seriously, the smile on his lips growing, however. After he fell and came to, Reyes didn’t even have to tell him _once_ to go to the hospital because he suggested it first. The shock on her face only lasted a moment before it was replaced with a knowing eye roll when she realized exactly why he was so willing to go to the hospital and he really couldn’t believe his luck. Of course, he didn’t fall on _purpose_ but if there was ever a reason to be happy about falling from a tree and knocking himself out, he was looking at her.

“The same investigation you mentioned last night with the self-healing man?” Scully asks as walks towards him, takes out her pen light, and examines Mulder’s eyes.

Mulder follows the light with his eyes as instructed, not bothering to speak because he didn’t want to distract himself from the subtle hint of her perfume he could now smell. She smelled sweet, but not overtly, and he had to fight the sudden urge he had to gently take her wrist and hold it up to his nose until he figured out _exactly_ what she smelled like.

Mulder watched as Scully pulled back, shut off her pen light, and put it in her pocket. She raised an eyebrow and smirked at him as she made her way to his file to write something down. “Well?”

It took him a moment to focus and remember what she had asked, but when he did, he sat up even straighter and grinned. He was interested in what her reaction would be to the case he was working on. “Yeah, same case.”

Scully nods as she writes, not looking up at him, but still surprisingly interested nonetheless. “So what’s the connection between the man who can heal himself and an apple tree?”

“Are you at all familiar with the whole Adam and Eve forbidden fruit story?”

“I might have heard of it.” Scully looks up at Mulder through her eyelashes as she pulls her gold cross necklace out from under her shirt and dangles it for him to see.

Mulder laughs as Scully makes her way back to him and motions for him to sit up and lean forward. “Well, the case is kind of like that, the only twist is, instead of the whole knowledge of good and evil deal, the people who eat these apples can…heal themselves.” He winces when he feels her fingers still at the back of his head where they had been checking for lumps. She found one. He had to give himself a silent pep talk about not crying in front of this woman as she felt around the slight swelling at the back of his head. As she removes her hands from his head, he looks up at her and relaxes when he notices a playful smile on her lips.

“Are you sure you work for the FBI?” Scully questions as she once again makes her way back to Mulder’s chart to write her notes as he reclines against the bed.

“What other reason would I have for climbing an apple tree in the middle of the night?”

“Unlawful trespassing might be how you have fun.” Scully closes the file and smiles when she hears his laugh once again.

“True.” Mulder pauses and takes a deep breath, his eyes going soft the way they seem to do only around this doctor. “Or I fell on purpose because I wanted a reason to come back here.”

Scully can’t help but stiffen at those words and she knows he notices. How could he not. He clearly didn’t miss the way she had straightened herself up and her fists clenched slightly. Just like how she didn’t miss the way his eyes filled with concern and flickered over her face quickly before resting on her eyes.

Mulder held his hands up. “I’m sorry if that came out like…I’m a stalker. I’m… not a stalker.” He could have kicked himself.  

Scully shakes her head and huffs out a small, somewhat humorless laugh. Triggers are an interesting thing, she muses to herself. Things that never would have bothered her in the past now had the ability to take her from relaxed to terrified in a matter of seconds. The simplest things could send her into a panic and that thought made her sick. When she looked at this man sitting in the bed, his hands lowering to his lap, and a genuinely concerned look in his eyes, she let out a deep breath and managed a small smile as she collected her pen and the file. She tried to find something to say, but all that came to mind was telling him that a nurse would be in shortly to discharge him and to have a good night.

When Mulder watched her place the pen in her pocket and pick up his file, he knew she was about to give him the same send off as she did last night so he said the first thing that came to mind, hoping she would stay. “My name is Fox Mulder, by the way.” He held out his hand and smiled.

“I know.” Scully said as she waved the file in her hand. She paused, quickly reminding herself that Mulder was not Stephen, not anything like him, before she walked to Mulder and shook his hand and just like the previous night, his grip was soft and gentle and he once again seemed reluctant to let go, but this time he did.

“Right.” Mulder nodded his head with a laugh before asking the question he was dying to know. “So, do I get to know _your_ name?”

Scully hesitated for a second before pulling the left side of her lab coat so it was taut against her chest, the wording written in cursive becoming legible.

“Dr. Dana Scully, M.D.” Mulder read softly with a smile before looking up at those gorgeous blue eyes that were clearly studying him. “Great name.”

Scully’s lips twitched up as she straightened out her coat. “Not as great as Fox.”

Mulder winced and turned his head away from Scully, but as soon as he heard her laughter his attention was back on her. “I usually just go by my last name. I only told you my first name as a sign of trust.”

“Me, too.” Scully spoke quietly, her eyes never leaving Mulder’s. “And, I feel I owe you an apology for last night. I was rude to you.”

Mulder shook his head and raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You don’t owe me an apology. If anything, _I_ owe _you_ one. I don’t normally ask out gorgeous doctors on dates, so what happened last night was a rough draft and I’m sorry I came off…creepy as all hell.”

Scully could feel a pleasant heat start in her chest and slowly rise to her cheeks. As she opened her mouth to respond, she felt her pager buzz inside her pocket and she pulled it out. Seeing that she was needed elsewhere, she placed the pager back in her pocket and looked up at Mulder who was smiling at her in understanding and disappointment. She was surprised to find that she felt a little of that disappointment at leaving as well.

“Busy night?” Mulder asked with a knowing smirk.

“Just a little.” Scully smiles as she shrugs her shoulders. “As I’m sure you were already told, your scans were clean, no bleeding, and your vitals are all normal. You will have a nasty lump on the back of your head but that should go away within the week. A nurse will be in with your discharge instructions and as long as you don’t fall out of anymore apple trees, you will be just fine.”

Mulder can only nod as he watches Scully give him one last smile as she turns towards the door. He wants to say something to her, _anything_ to her, but his voice is stuck in his throat and the nervous energy in his stomach is making it difficult to talk. Thankfully, he manages to clear his throat which gets her attention. She turns her head, hand on the door handle, and raises both eyebrows in question. He laughs softly at himself, trying to remember the last time he was this nervous. “Are you, uh, free tomorrow night?” He impresses himself when the words don’t rush out of his mouth, but come out slow and fairly smooth.    

Slowly, Scully releases the door handle and turns fully towards Mulder. “Do you think the third times the charm?”

Mulder chuckles, his head dropping forward before he looks back up at her, his eyes playful. “No, no, I’m not asking you out on a date again.”

“Really?” Scully can’t help but smirk just a little.

“Really. I’m just asking if your free tomorrow night. For just a casual dinner at a casual restaurant with two causal people just casually talking about causal things.”

Scully laughs, her eyes shining as she watches a wide smile form over Mulder’s lips. “So, this is a _formal_ thing?”

Mulder’s smile grows as his eyes take in every aspect of Scully’s face, her features making his eyes soft. “Seriously, I…I just want to get to know you. I like talking to you and if you like talking to me, even just a little, maybe you would be open to the idea of having dinner sometime. Or it could be lunch…breakfast. Or we don’t have to eat. We could maybe go to the-”

“A casual dinner would be nice.” Scully spoke quietly. The thought of going out to dinner with Mulder under the guise of a date made her apprehensive. It made her apprehensive because of the pressure or the expectations that might be put on her. When it came down to it, she only knew a handful of things about this man and she had no idea what his intended end game was with her. Of course, she knew in the back of her mind that this was going to be exactly like a date and they would just call it two people having dinner, but somehow that made her feel better. However, it didn’t stop her heart from thrumming wildly in her chest. Out of excitement _and_ unease, and she hated that it was both. She hated what Stephen had turned her into. She hated that she couldn’t let herself be swept up by Mulder’s charms. But the thing she hated most of all was having to keep him at arm’s length with no foreseeable chance of that changing.                 

“Really?”

Mulder’s low voice brought Scully out of her own thoughts and she nodded her head with a small smile. “Yes.”

Mulder’s own smile grew so large Scully was sure she could count all of his teeth. He used his hands to push his body up straighter in the bed before rubbing his palms over the tops of his thighs. “W-what kind of food do you like?”

The crack in his voice gave away just how excited he really was and it chipped a little piece off Scully’s walls without her even noticing. “Anything, really.”

Mulder paused as his mind ran through all of the places he would be willing to take Scully. He had to strike the perfect balance between a five star, upscale restaurant that would be date worthy of a doctor and McDonalds. Luckily, he had been running through a list of places in his mind since he saw her walk through the door tonight, just in case she decided to take pity on him and say yes. “Ever been to Logan Tavern?”

“No.” Scully makes a mental note to ask someone where Logan Tavern is.

“Well, it’s a great place for two casual people just trying to have a casual dinner together.” Mulder grinned.

Scully laughed softly and shook her head at Mulder before biting her lower lip. “I’m free tomorrow.”

Mulder’s heartrate picked up from watching a few of Scully’s straight white teeth pull her full bottom lip into her mouth. He silently thanked anyone who might be listening that he wasn’t hooked up to a heart monitor. Going the “friends’ first” route with this woman was going to be one hell of an exercise in self-control, but that seemed to make her more comfortable and if that’s what he needed to do to be able to see her again, then that’s exactly what he’ll do. “Does six work for you?”

Scully nods once as she takes a few steps back, turns, and opens the door. Just as she’s about to leave, she turns her head back. “I’ll see you then, Agent Mulder.” And with that, she walks out the door leaving it slowly shut behind her.

“See you then, Doctor Scully.” Mulder says softly and lets his head fall back against the pillows, the smile on his lips feeling permanent.


	5. Chapter 5

Mulder glanced at his wrist watch for what had to be the tenth time within the last five minutes, literally counting down the seconds until it was six o’clock, and smiled in relief when he noticed it was finally six. He looked up and down the sidewalk that he had been pacing without catching a glimpse of red before nodding to one of the waiters of Logan Tavern who was serving the customers taking advantage of the nice evening and dining outside. The waiter smiled at him, almost in sympathy before speaking. “Stood up?”

“No, she’s coming.” Mulder said with a fake smile that he hoped passed for reassuring and confident. Had he actually been stood up? Can a person _even be_ stood up for a causal dinner?

Mulder was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Scully walking towards him, a smile on her face that caused one to form on his own. He took a few steps towards her and watched in rapture as she walked, taking her in, completely ignoring the waiters parting comment about being a lucky man. She looked beautiful with her dark jeans and light sweater, her red hair shining in the evening sun, and he wanted to tell her just that when she was finally standing in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything, not wanting to push any boundaries, but when she looked up at him with those clear blue eyes and brushed her hair behind her ear, he couldn’t control himself. “You look beautiful.”

Scully blushed almost instantly at the genuine tone of Mulder’s voice and looked down, her smile growing to reveal her teeth. “Thank you.” She spoke softly before looking up at the restaurant they were standing in front of, taking a very deep breath in, and then looked back at him expectantly. “I’ve never been here before.”

“You’ll love it. At least I hope you will.” Mulder spoke with a chuckle as he started walking with Scully towards the door, his hand just itching to touch her lower back. But this wasn’t a date. That fact wouldn’t stop him from being a gentleman however, and he gladly opened the door to the restaurant and held it open for her, loving the sweet smile she gave him in return as she walked past him.

Once they had been seated inside and their orders had been taken, Mulder took a drink from his beer before setting the bottle down and playing with the label, smiling as he watches Scully drink from her glass of red wine, her eyes watching him and crinkling in the corners. Her small smile comes into full view when she places her glass down on the table, clearing her throat. “How are you feeling, by the way?”

“Like I didn’t even fall out of a tree last night.” Mulder grinned at the shake of Scully’s head. “You are a miracle worker.”

Scully laughed. “No, you’re just lucky.”

Mulder nodded his head slowly, his eyes locking onto Scully’s. “I know.”

Scully’s mouth opened just a little, but no response was forthcoming. This man. This man who she doesn’t even know has the ability to make her feel things she hasn’t felt in a _very_ long time with just a look and two simple words. Even now, the things she’s feeling, the delicious feeling of being wanted, it feels…different somehow. It feels _good_. Pure and simple, with no undertones of anything insidious.

Luckily, Scully was saved from searching her mind for an appropriate response when their waiter returned with their food, distracting them both with questions about refills and giving reassurances that their food smelled and looked amazing. They both began to eat their food, only speaking when one of them had a positive comment about their dinner. Mulder wanted to ask her so many questions about herself but his mind kept overthinking. Every time he opened his mouth to begin a conversation, his mind would tell him that it’s too personal for a non-date and he would fill his open mouth with food instead, silently kicking himself for being awkward with her.

“So, did you get anywhere with your case?” Scully asks with an interested tone before taking a bite of her food.

Mulder pouted dramatically as he picked up his beer, his lips curving into a smile around the bottle when he hears Scully’s soft laughter. He swallows as he shakes his head. “Unfortunately, no. My ‘supervisors’ didn’t take my sneaking onto someone’s private property very well and I’m stonewalled at the moment. I’m not exactly a very popular guy at the Bureau.”

“Well, do you honestly believe those apples give people the ability to heal themselves?”

“If I said yes, would you run out of here screaming?” Mulder questioned with a wince.

Scully smirked and shook her head. “No, but I might seriously reconsider my diagnosis. You might have brain trauma, Agent Mulder.”    

“I believed that theory _before_ I fell. And please, just Mulder.”

Scully smiled. “Brain trauma from a previous incident that was never fully examined then.”

Mulder laughed, his eyes tracing over Scully’s wide smile as she looked down at the food she was gathering on her fork. She looked so damn beautiful and he was enthralled by her. He watched as she brought her fork up to her mouth and wrapped her lips around it, taking the food into her mouth. He liked the way her tongue quickly darted out and swiped across her upper lip before she began to chew. “Touché. So, tell me about yourself, Dr. Scully.”

“Just Scully, _Mulder._ ” Scully raised her eyebrow as she gently swirled the wine in her glass. “There’s not much to tell.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that. Just tell me anything. Where are you from?”

Scully stared at Mulder for a beat, her wine still swirling as she lost herself in thought. Thoughts of what her life was like only a month ago. Thoughts of what she let her life become for too many years. Those thoughts made her stomach turn and she closed her eyes as she stilled her wine glass. “There’s not much I _want_ to talk about.” Slowly, she opened her eyes and smiled what she was sure was a sad smile.

Mulder nodded his head, sensing the seriousness in Scully’s voice, and reached for her hand that was resting on base of the wine glass, her fingers interlacing with the stem. Their fingers touched for only a second before she pulled her hand away and picked up her fork, pushing around the food on her plate, looking down. “Can you tell I’m not very good at this?” She asked with a self-deprecating laugh.

Mulder smiled softly at Scully, his eyebrows knitting together as he waited patiently for her to look at him again. When she did, he saw a sadness in her eyes that he hadn’t noticed before and the look she was giving him made him want to reach across the table and hug her, touch her face, and run his fingers through her hair. Instead, he leaned back in his chair and reached for the beer bottle, moving it back and forth on the table. “I think you’re great at this… when you let yourself be. I also think, and forgive me if I’m overstepping here, but I think you’ve been hurt by something in your past and its making you stop yourself from opening up.”

Scully’s eyebrows raise up as she lets go of her fork and sits up a little straighter. Seeing this, Mulder let’s go of his beer and sits up straighter as well, worried that he actually _did_ overstep and offended her. “I’m sorry, Scully. I didn’t mean to imply anything by what I said.”

Scully sighed. “No, it’s- it’s okay. I just didn’t think it was that blatantly obvious.”

Mulder smiled disarmingly. “It’s not. I was a profiler before I started working in the unit I’m at now and old habits are hard to break.”

Scully nodded and cleared her throat before speaking. “Tell me about yourself, Mulder.” She was hoping that he would take the hint and change the subject, steering it far, far away from herself.

Deep down, Mulder wanted nothing more than to disregard Scully’s change in subject tactic and question her about what put that sad, painful look in her eyes. He wanted to know what had happened in her past, who or what had hurt her, but he knew the chances of her staying in this restaurant with him were slim to none if he didn’t take the hint. So he did. “Alright, if you want to be bored to death. What do you want to know?”

Scully smiled softly in gratitude and picked up her fork. “Where are you from?” She repeated his earlier question back to him.

Internally, Mulder was hoping that the topic of his childhood wouldn’t come up, but he knew that was unlikely, after all, he had asked her the same question. “I’m from Massachusetts. Do you know where Martha's Vineyard is?”

Scully nodded as she brought her fork to her mouth. 

“Well, I’m from a small town on the vineyard called Chilmark.” Mulder fought valiantly against his eye roll at the pretentiousness of where he grew up.

Scully swallowed her food and smiled when she noticed Mulder’s subtle scowl and his barely contained eye roll when he spoke of his hometown. “Not the fondest of memories there?”

“Not the fondest, no.” Mulder agreed as he tore a piece of bread off his dinner roll and brought it to his mouth. “I like it here a lot better.” There was a twinkle in his eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Scully felt that now familiar heat rise up her neck and touch her cheeks. Mulder was quickly becoming an expert at making her a little hot under the collar. Clearing her throat, she reached for her wine glass and brought it to her lips, taking a mouthful as her eyes closed.  He watched her like she was otherworldly.

The rest of the dinner went well. After finishing off her first glass of wine, Scully started to relax a little. Her guard wasn’t down and she was cautious about what she revealed about her life, but she gave herself permission to enjoy the conversation she was having with Mulder. He even made her laugh, her full bodied, gum showing, laugh a few times, and managed to keep her blush remaining on her face through most of the meal. He listened intently as she talked about her family, how she was a Navy brat who moved around more times than she could count with her parents and her two brothers and sister. She told him all about how she was a bit of a punk growing up who always gave her mom and dad a hard time but luckily managed to straighten out and ended up going to medical school at Stanford University. She had promised to share all of her wild college stories with him another time giving him a spark of hope that this wasn’t going to just be a one off thing.

“So, I get to see you again?” Mulder asked with a grin as the waiter set a beautiful bowl of vanilla ice cream topped with a small brownie that was drizzled artistically with chocolate syrup in the center of their table.

Scully’s mouth parted slightly as her eyes glanced to the waiter and then back to Mulder. “Did you order this?”

Mulder shook his head and watched as two dessert spoons were placed on the table as well.

“Oh, that’s on the house. Our Chef said he hasn’t seen such a cute couple in a long time _and-_ ” The waiter looked at Mulder with a smirk as he pointed to Scully. “He thinks her smile is gorgeous and wanted to give you some help keeping it on her face and thought ice cream might do it. Enjoy.” The waiter smiled at both Mulder and Scully before turning and walking away.

“Wow, look at my _date_ , charming everyone in the restaurant.” Mulder’s grin grew impossibly large as he picked up his spoon and gathered some of the ice cream and brownie on it.

Scully rolled her eyes but picked up her spoon and scooped the ice cream. Mulder clanked their spoons together and subtly tipped the brownie from his spoon onto hers. She looked up at him, a small smile forming slowly, and brought the dessert to her mouth.

Mulder’s eyes locked with Scully’s and he could feel himself smiling like a fool, but he doesn’t care. “He’s right you know. The Chef. You really do have a gorgeous smile. He must not have heard your laugh, though, because if he did, he would have given us every dessert on the menu.”

Scully swallowed the brownie in her mouth, her eyes never leaving Mulder’s. The tone of his voice was nothing but sincere and the constant compliments coming from him this evening were nice but almost too much to handle. He was trying so hard to court her and damn him, if it wasn’t working, but it is too much too quickly and she’s not sure if she’s ready. Slowly, she lowers her spoon and places it on the table. She takes a deep breath and releases it before speaking. “Mulder…I- I have a very hard time trusting men and I want you to know that I…well…I’m not asking for anything. I just don’t want you to waste your time on me.” 

Mulder sets his own spoon down, his smile now small and his eyes looking almost pained. “Can I ask you a question?”

Scully nods once, slowly.

“Did you enjoy yourself at all this evening?” Mulder asks with a slight shake to his voice he wasn’t expecting.

Scully’s eyes widen as she sits up in her chair. “Of course I did. It has been one of the best non-dates I’ve ever been on.”

Mulder’s head falls forward as he laughs softly before looking back up, pausing for a moment until he has Scully’s full attention on him. He needs her to hear this. “I like you. For so many reasons, I like you. Dana, you are so sweet. I mean like, one of the nicest people I think I have ever had the pleasure to meet. You are probably a certifiable genius, rewriting Einstein like its nothing. I mean, just from having an hour conversation with you, I can tell how intellectual you are and it’s a nice change to have a stimulating discussion. You’re also so damn funny and I don’t even think you mean to be, which makes it even better. And I’m not about to gloss over the fact you are a stone cold fox and turn heads. Don’t think I haven’t counted how many people have been staring at you tonight. So, for all those reasons, I like you. I like your company and even if we never get past being two people who meet for dinner every now and then, I won’t be wasting my time with you and if you don’t mind…I would really like to see you again.”

Scully could feel her heart racing, her body beginning to warm up all over. Her eyes had a slight sting to them and she knew it was from at least a few tears that might be trying to escape. Never in her life has someone taken the time to truly list things they like about her. Not once. It had been so long since she even received a sincere compliment from someone that she had forgotten what it felt like and here was this man, almost a complete stranger, making her feel things she feared she had forgotten how to feel. She felt a surge of passion. _Lust_. “Mulder…” Was all she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper, her heart beating louder than her voice.

“That was pretty heavy for a first date, huh?”

Scully laughed a short, watery laugh before dabbing the corner of her eye with her napkin. “I thought this wasn’t a date.”

Mulder smiles as he reaches across the table, but doesn’t make contact with Scully’s hand that is still resting on the table. “Sorry, you’re right. Can I, uh, get a first date then?”

Scully hesitates for a second, letting out a long breath, before slowly sliding her hand towards Mulder’s, allowing just the tips of their fingers to touch softly. She watches as his middle finger taps the top of her nail on her middle finger before looking up and into his hazel eyes and smiles. “No.”

Mulder’s eyes grow in surprise for a second until he feels her finger tips lace with his and it’s like he suddenly understands. “It’s not the right time?”

Scully nods slowly, sadly.

“Do you want me to ask that question again sometime?”

Scully nods again, faster, causing them both to laugh.    


	6. Chapter 6

It had been two weeks. Two extremely long weeks since Mulder had last spoken to or seen Scully. Their dinner had gone very well, the conversation was light and a little bit flirty, and despite her protest, he had grabbed the check and paid for both meals. Not wanting the evening to end, they had agreed to continue their conversation as they took a stroll around the block, playfully bumping shoulders and letting their hands brush together a few times. Walking back to her car and letting her go was difficult because he wasn’t sure when he would get to see her again. He watched with sad eyes as she unlocked her car door and slipped inside. When she rolled down the window, he leaned down to see her, his arms crossed and resting on the door. Every part of him was yearning to kiss her and by the look in her eyes and knowing smirk on her lips, she could tell that’s what he wanted to do, but he refrained and simply watched as she turned in her seat and grabbed her purse, looking through it. When she turned back to him, she had a pen in her hand and her playful smirk was replaced with the most adorably nervous smile. Slowly, she reached for his hand, hesitated before actually touching him, then softly pulled on his fingers. Grinning like a fool, he let her take his hand, palm up, and watched as she began writing her phone number on it. When she let go of his hand and told him not to make her regret doing that, her voice a pleading whisper, his resolve almost broke. It took everything he had not to jump in the car and kiss her until she forgot whatever caused her so much pain in her past.  

Mulder had made his way home that night, fully intending to call the number inked on his hand as soon as he walked through his apartment door, but he had nine voicemails from Reyes letting him know they had a case they needed to start work on immediately in a small town in Massachusetts. Reyes had failed to mention the town was stuck back in the 1600’s and no one believed in payphones or cell towers. If he wanted to make a call, he would have to drive two hours to the nearest town to do so, but the case kept them so busy they could hardly eat and sleep let alone drive two hours away. Luckily, Mulder had the common sense to write down Scully’s phone number on a piece of paper, keeping said paper safely with him at all times.

When he finally landed back in D.C. and sunk down on his well-worn couch, phone in hand, he pulled out the paper from the pocket of his jeans and dialed. No answer. Five times. Heart now racing in panic, he glances at the clock on the wall and wonders if she’s at work. His mind races with thoughts. Should he go to the hospital? Would that be weird? Should he wait to call her later? Is she pissed at him? Upset that he didn’t call? Then the worst thought popped into his head…did she give him a fake number?

Just as quickly as that horrible thought came, it was replaced with the memory of Scully in her car. Her small, hesitant smile when she reached for his hand, the way she paused halfway to his hand like she was going to second guess her decision, and then of course, there was the desperate whisper that followed. Her plea to not make her regret it. There was no way that number was fake. She took a risk and now probably thought he blew her off.

Fuck.

That was the last thought that passed through Mulder’s mind as he grabbed his car keys and ran out the door.

Walking through MedStar Washington Hospital Center’s Emergency Room doors flooded Mulder with anxiety, his chest feeling very hot. He had no idea if Scully was even working tonight and if she was, how she would react to him showing up at her place of employment with a postcard from Massachusetts and apology coffee. The only thing he could hope, as he spotted her standing at the admission desk filling out paperwork with her back to him, was that she would give him enough time to explain why he didn’t call.

Slowly, Mulder approached Scully, smiling politely at the nurse sitting behind the desk, trying to ignore the fact that she now seemed to be more interested in him than whatever she was typing a moment ago. “Hi.” He could have turned around and walked right out of the hospital because of how adolescent his voice just sounded.    

Mulder could see Scully stiffen slightly, her pen coming to a stop as she turned her head to look at him. He would only be lying if he said his heart didn’t start beating ridiculously fast and his palms suddenly became clammy at the sight of her. When she took him in, her eyes roaming over the coffee in one hand and the postcard in the other, his demeanor showing his nerves, the corners of her lips turned up. From what she could tell, he seemed appropriately contrite so she set her pen down and turned to face him fully, leaning against the registration desk, her arms crossing in front of her. She even threw in a raised eyebrow for good measure. “Hi. What are you doing here?”  

“I wanted to see you.” Mulder swallowed hard at her posture. Despite the flicker of a smile he thought he saw when she turned her head, her stance was telling him to fuck off. 

Scully’s eyebrow raised even higher, her lips pursing. “So, you wanted to _see_ me but not call me? After two weeks?”

Despite the fact that the nurse behind the desk was now watching them in rapt fascination, Mulder new this was his opening to explain. “I am so sorry, Scully. The minute I walked through my apartment door after our dinner I was going to call you but I was given a new case and had to immediately fly out to the middle of nowhere, Massachusetts.”

Scully nodded once. “I didn’t know you couldn’t make calls in Massachusetts.”

“The case was involving witchcraft in a puritan village. No service, landlines, or payphones for miles. I was more than willing to drive the two hours to the nearest town to call you but-” Mulder offered the postcard from said nearest town to Scully, the tension in his body uncoiling a little when she took it from him and began examining the picture. “The case kept me so busy I hardly had time to eat.” He offered her the coffee in his hand, even more tension releasing when she looked up from the postcard and took the coffee, taking a tentative sip. “I got you French Vanilla, two creams, one sugar. I didn’t know what you would like so I took a guess. I missed you.” He held his breath after letting that last unplanned comment slip out, watching as she sipped more of the coffee, her eyes still on the postcard. If he didn’t know better, he could swear he saw another small smile forming.

Scully swallowed the sweet, hot liquid that was made to her exact liking and looked up to see worried hazel eyes, her heart pounding in her chest at the realization he hadn’t decided she was too much trouble for what she’s worth. “You have honed your profiler skills.” She shook the coffee cup in her hand slightly before taking another sip, her eyes never leaving Mulder’s. After lowering the cup from her lips, she tilted her head slightly towards the nurse who she knew had been hanging onto every word, her eyes still tracing over his face. “What do you think, Susan? Should I believe him?”

“Believe him, Dana. Believe every word out of his beautiful mouth.”

Mulder smiled a little awkwardly at Susan’s remark and shifted on his feet. Scully was looking at him like she was looking for something and she must have found it because a moment later she smirked, her eyes warmed, and she stepped away from the desk she was leaning on. Mulder released the breath he had been holding, his head swimming with pure relief and he smiled back, taking a tentative step closer to her. His heart skipped a beat when the back of her knuckles softly brushed his chest as she brought the coffee cup to her lips once again.

“Do you have time to talk?” Mulder spoke softly, his right hand swinging forward so his fingers could touch the back of her hand that was holding the postcard. God, she was so soft and he couldn’t get enough.

Scully smiled as she lowered the cup from her lips and swallowed, the back of her knuckles once again grazing his chest. He was in her space, very much so, but her body vibrated with pleasure from it instead of fear. She felt that warm rush of desire pass through her body again, just like that night at the restaurant, only this time she wasn’t surprised. After going two weeks thinking she would never talk to or see this man again and actually feeling disappointment and sadness, she knew she wanted him. Now the trick was just to get her overly cautious mind on board with the idea of dating again. And trusting. _That_ is one emotion she still feels she might have lost for good.  

Despite all of the worry in her head, Scully still wanted to see Mulder, so nodding, she lead them over to a sitting area outside of the hospital gift shop. She sat down on one of the couches, watching as he sat down next to her, but not touching. In that moment she understood and very much appreciated that he was struggling with the same thoughts she was…how much is too much? She wanted him near her. She wanted to feel more of his touches. But she was afraid. She was afraid because she didn’t know how she would react. One of these times, would the simple touch of his hand on hers send her into in a panic as a flashback of Stephen squeezing her fingers until her index finger fractured took over her mind?

Still, Mulder was open with his feelings and Scully felt she should at least try and do the same. “I missed you, too, by the way. I thought maybe…I might have scared you off or something.”

“Like hell.” Mulder shook his head vigorously causing Scully to laugh softly, a light blush forming on her cheeks. He loved that he could do that to her so easily. “Busy night?”

Scully shook her head as she drank her coffee. “No, actually. I’m just going over charts, finishing up paperwork. The fun stuff.”

Mulder chuckled. “Oh, I know about the fun stuff. I actually have a whole stack of that fun stuff that needs finishing at work.”

“Well, I’m sure investigating witches requires a lot of paperwork.” Scully smirked as she flipped the postcard over and read the back.

“I got that just for you, Doctor Scully.”

“As proof that you were actually in Massachusetts?”

“Exactly.”

They both looked at each other and smiled brightly, both relieved this thing between them would be continuing.

Mulder let his gaze linger on Scully a moment, enjoying how beautiful she truly is, even under the harsh lighting of the hospital. He briefly wondered when she became his ideal type. Move over tall, busty, brunettes and make room for short, petite, redheads. Well, just _one_ short, petite, redhead. Clearing his throat, he looked down at his knees before looking back into her blue eyes that looked almost translucent. “Thank you for hearing me out. I was hoping you would at least give me a chance to explain that not calling you wasn’t my choice.”

“Well, you did go to the trouble of gathering evidence for me.” Scully spoke with a laugh as she tucked the postcard into the pocket of her lab coat.

Mulder smiled when he saw Scully do this, secretly pleased she was going to keep the cheap card. “I just…I was worried you thought I disappeared on you. I fully intended to use your number. Repeatedly. I actually did already.”

Scully tilted her head to the right, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion, prompting Mulder to explain. “I called you before I came over here an embarrassing amount of times and I might have left a very long, rambling voicemail on your machine, until it cut me off, about how sorry I was and how I was hoping you would give me a chance to talk to you. I might also have thrown in a few…hundred compliments in there as well. I know I said I miss your voice a few times.” He winced with a slight grimace at how damn desperate he sounded describing his actions out loud.

Scully gasped so softly, like she suddenly realized something, as her eyes narrowed subtly. She was giving him a look he had never seen before and he wasn’t sure what it meant, but it made his heart race. She bit her lower lip and looked down at her fidgeting hands for a few minutes. He didn’t move or speak, not knowing what thoughts were running through her head and why she had looked at him with _that_ look he didn’t recognize. When she finally did look back up at him, her eyes had a glassy shine to them and her voice was so low he had to lean forward slightly to hear her. “I have a problem with you.”

Mulder’s eyes widened as he leaned back in surprise. Out of all the things he was expecting her to say, that was completely off the mark. “You do?”

Scully nodded, her bottom lip back between her teeth, only this time, her eyes remained locked with Mulder’s, unknowingly stoking the fire inside of his lower abdomen. However, the fire was dampening a little because of that _look_. “I do. You…You, um, make me feel very…amorous.” She could feel the burning in her chest quickly increasing in intensity, threating to consume her.

Mulder could have laughed in relief. “And that’s a problem?”

Scully nodded once again, the glassy shine to her eyes becoming more pronounced as the edges of her eyes became red. Suddenly, seeing the unshed tears in her eyes, Mulder understood that her feeling this way was in fact a problem for her. She wasn’t joking around with him and the thought erased the smile from his face immediately. Before he could say anything however, she was up on her feet, harshly swiping at the corners of her eyes. He immediately grabbed her hand but she pulled away just as quickly.

“I’m so sorry, Mulder. This is just…a lot for me and I don’t think I can do this.”

Mulder stood up, his heart beating wildly and painfully in his chest as he watched with sadness in his eyes as she took a step backwards. “Look, I know that we hardly know each other but…you _can_ open up to me. Even just a little if that’s all you’re comfortable with right now. Please, Scully, give me something. Let me get to know you.”

Scully shook her head, the burning in her eyes increasing. “You won’t ever really know me, Mulder. Just like I won’t ever really know you.”

Mulder’s eyebrows drew together in a mix of confusion and hurt. “ _This_ doesn’t have to be that way.” He waved his hand in between them and lowered his voice to a gentle whisper. “Please give me a chance.”

Scully felt a single tear escape and slide slowly down her cheek. “I can’t. I’m so sorry for making you think I could.”      

“Dana…” Mulder pleaded as he took a small step closer. “Where is this coming from? What did I do?”

“I have to go.” Scully managed to choke out as she reached into her pocket, pulled out the postcard, and set it down on the table full of magazines and her coffee cup. When she stood back up and looked at Mulder one last time, she could tell his eyes were glossier than they had been a few minutes ago, and the knowledge that she was hurting this man made her mentally chastise herself for letting him get as close as he did, which admittedly wasn’t very close and yet, here they both were, still hurting.

“Wait.” Mulder spoke in a soft tone that made Scully pause. “Just be honest with me…and yourself. Do you really want this to stop?”

By the look in Mulder’s eyes, Scully knew he must feel like he was on the other end of her emotional yo-yo, and he was. He had the ability to open her up. Fully and completely. She could feel it and it both excited her and terrified her and that was her own personal journey she needed to work through, but she couldn’t keep dragging him along for the ride. She knew what she was about to say was harsh and she knew it would hurt him, but if she wanted a clean break, and she did, then it had to be said. Steeling herself, like she was about to address Stephen, she looked him in the eye and spoke so low and cold it was unnerving. “It never even started.”

Her eyes downcast, Scully turned sharply on her heel and walked away, tears pouring down her face.


	7. Chapter 7

ROCK CREEK PARK

WASHINGTON D.C.

JULY 23, 1999

 

Dana Scully felt good. _Very_ good actually. The burning in her thigh and calf muscles, the stinging of her lungs, the way her heart was racing, it all felt so damn good and she couldn’t believe it had taken her thirty five years to discover the wonderful pain and pleasure combination of running. It wasn’t until her therapist, Dr. Wheeler, suggested she try some form of physical activity when her mind became too preoccupied with thoughts of her past abuse. During the first couple of weeks, she had gone out for a run so often that she decided to just make it a life style change. Running no longer was just a simple distraction technique, it was now something she had been doing every day for the past three months to simply feel good. Of course, she knew that running wasn’t the only thing making her feel better. Her weekly therapy sessions, every Monday and Wednesday night for the past three months, were working wonders for her. On Mondays during her one on one sessions with Dr. Wheeler she felt free to cry, scream, and let out all of her pent up emotion that she had been harboring for so many years in a private, safe environment. And on Wednesdays during group counseling, she was able to share her most private and traumatic stories with women who have been through the same. She wasn’t alone and for the first time since the abuse began, she felt it.

That was especially true during a group session, when the topic of dating came up. Scully felt her heart ache as she listened to the other women around her share their thoughts, feelings, and attempts at dating, with almost all of the stories ending in the same way, just like hers did with one, Fox Mulder.

Oh Mulder.

He came up _a lot_ in her one on ones with Dr. Wheeler because there hadn’t been a single day that went by that she hadn’t thought about him in some capacity and _god,_ did she miss him. They had a budding romance for a weekend back in April and she ruined it. Well, according to Dr. Wheeler, what happened with Mulder wasn’t anyone’s fault except Stephen’s and the mental trauma he induced in her. Still, she felt horrible about giving him the green light and then immediately pumping the breaks and she found it extremely difficult to give up hope that she might see him walking through the hospital doors or one of the messages she had on her machine when she got home would be from him. He didn’t try and contact her but isn’t that what she had asked for?

Of course, Scully had cried. She had cried a lot. Over Mulder. Over her situation with him. Over _everything._ She had cried until one day she couldn’t cry anymore. _Wouldn’t_ cry anymore. She knew she needed to focus on herself and her healing and so she did for three months and counting and as the sun kissed her sweat soaked skin as she rounded the corner of her new running path, she knew that she was in a good place. Maybe not the best place she could be, but she was getting there and she smiled.

Scully’s smile grew a little in wonder, her gait slowing slightly, when she noticed a man standing on the grass on the edge of the path she was running. This must be where he runs. He was taking his pulse, looking down at his wrist watch, so he didn’t notice her, but she noticed him. There was a brief moment when her mind told her to turn around and run the other way and avoid a possible rejection from him. Just live in the happy memories and move on. He doesn’t want to see you after the way you left him. Her heart told her mind to shut the hell up and she jogged right up to him, her nerves making her voice a little shaky. “Hi.”

Mulder knew _that_ voice. He had missed that voice and when he looked up, his fingers still on his neck under his now rapidly increasing heartbeat, he could have hugged her. There was Scully, about a head shorter than him in her sneakers, running shorts, and t-shirt. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail with a few hairs that managed to escape clinging to her damp face and neck and a big, and very nervous looking smile on her lips. The sun was doing amazing things to the blue of her eyes, showing him little specks of gold he had never noticed before. He hadn’t forgotten just how beautiful she was but he could appreciate this reminder all day. It was only when her smile started to dim a little that he was pulled back to the present and realized he hadn’t said anything. Slowly, he lowered his hand down to his side and smiled. “Hi.”

Scully’s smile began to grow again at Mulder’s gentle voice and that was when he noticed it. She looked _different._ Happier with more color to her. Of course, he thought she was an absolute knock out before but _now_ she was practically glowing. Her smile was contagious and she passed it to him. “You look great, Scully.”

Scully laughed softly as she let her head fall forward before looking back up at Mulder with a shake of her head. “You’re still too good to be true I see.”

“The same could be said about you.” Mulder grinned and wiggled his eyebrows playfully causing her to laugh once again. His eyes softened at the sound and his tone became serious. “It’s good to see you.” 

Scully was still smiling but her eyes were full of regret as they looked into his. “It’s really good to see you, too, Mulder.” She paused and took a deep breath before slowly releasing it. “I wanted to apologize for-”

Mulder shook his head and held up his hand, his eyes closing. “Please don’t feel like you have to apologize to me.”

Mulder’s eyes opened when he felt Scully take his hand and squeeze it. He watched her as she watched their hands lace together slowly and fall between them. His heart raced at the feel of finally holding her hand. Her hand was so small and so soft and fit together with his perfectly and he wanted to immediately grab her hand back when she gave a final squeeze and let go. She looked up at him and shook her head. “I _want_ to apologize. I want to apologize for giving you emotional whiplash. We just…it was bad timing. It had nothing to do with you or anything you did. It was all me and you did nothing wrong.”

Mulder nodded his head in understanding. Of course, he didn’t understand completely but he could surmise that Scully had been hurt badly in the past, most likely by a significant other. That’s why he didn’t go after her or call her. It hurt to just let her push him away but he knew that’s what she needed. “I know you had your reasons and I would forgive you if there was anything to forgive.”

Scully smiled in gratitude as their eyes locked, an understanding passing through both of them without any words being needed. What happened is now in the past and they could move forward. And move forward she did. Slowly, her eyes made their way down Mulder’s body, appreciating how his light gray shirt did nothing to hide his muscles. To cover up her blatant appraisal of his body, she nodded to the wording on his chest. “Oxford, huh?”

Mulder smirked and looked down at his sweaty shirt before looking back up at Scully, nodding his head. He knew exactly what she was really looking at but he was so happy she was allowing herself to do it he never called her out. Instead, he tilted his head in the direction of a park bench nearby and began walking with her towards it. “Of course. I lived in England for four years and loved every minute of it.”

Scully smiled as she drank from her water bottle, sitting down next to him on the bench. “What did you study?”

“Psychology. I was planning on being a full time student, get my Ph.D, maybe teach a little, but the good old Federal Bureau of Investigation got me.” Mulder grimaced playfully as he subtly stretched his arm across the back of the bench where Scully was sitting.

“With their allure of investigating healing apples and witches?” Scully shifted just the slightest bit closer to him on the bench and crossed her left leg over her right, turning her body more towards him, without even consciously thinking about what she was doing.   

Mulder chuckled and lowered his arm a little. If he focused hard enough, he could feel Scully’s body heat. “Well, no actually. I started work in the Behavioral Science Unit. I bet you can guess what I was doing there.”

“Psychological Profiling.” Scully nodded once and smiled. “So how did you get transferred to the unit you’re in now because to be honest with you, I never knew there was a unit that dealt with the…”

“Paranormal?” Mulder supplied for her.

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know about the X-Files either until I was assigned to the Violent Crimes Unit. While I was working with that unit, there was a case that seemed to have no scientific answer. Well, none that was acceptable anyway, so I started looking outside the realm of science and into explanations that might be more…extraterrestrial in nature.” Mulder watched as Scully’s eyebrows raised and her smile grew just a little. He knew she was probably thinking about how crazy he is but she wasn’t running away so he continued. “That’s how I found these cases.”

“The X-Files?” Scully asked with actual genuine curiosity. Mulder could have kissed her but instead, he shifted closer to her and leaned forward.

“Yeah. There were hundreds of them in the basement of the Hoover Building just sitting there gathering dust because no one wanted to touch them. I started reading through them, at first just to get answers about the case I was working on, but then it started to become a habit. I would finish up work for the day and then go down to the basement and read different X-Files for hours.” Mulder paused, briefly wondering if he should continue, and with one look into her eyes, watching as the gold danced with the blue in the sunlight, he knew he could trust her. “Soon, it became…personal and I was finally given permission to reopen the cases and investigate them.”

“What made it personal?”

Looking down at his lap, Mulder took a quick breath in and slowly released it. “My sister.” He looked back up at Scully who was watching him so intently that he felt a surge of affection for her. “When we were kids…she was taken from our home. I witnessed it. She was…I believe that she was abducted by something extraterrestrial.” He huffed out a self-deprecating laugh and shook his head. “Closest I’ve ever come to proving that is about this far.” He held his thumb and index finger as far apart as they could go. “Sometimes I feel like I failed her. _I’m_ her older brother. _I_ was supposed to protect her but I didn’t.”

Scully frowned in sympathy. She did not believe in the existence of extraterrestrials and alien abductions. She did believe however, that Mulder’s sister was kidnapped and his young, distressed mind fabricated the abduction memory to help him cope but she wasn’t about to tell him that. At least not in this moment. He seemed so sure of his thoughts and this was clearly a very painful thing to open up about and she would never undermine his feelings about it. “You were just a kid, Mulder. What could you have done?”

Mulder watched Scully for a moment before nodding his head. “You probably think I’m insane now.”

Scully held her thumb and index finger as close together as possible without touching, doing the exact opposite of what Mulder had just done a moment ago and smirked, pleased when that drew a small laugh out of him. She watched as he removed his arm from the back of the bench and leaned forward, grabbing his water bottle from the ground and taking a long drink from it. Her smirk slowly changed into a soft smile when she realized just how personal he got with her and that she wanted to do the same. Taking a deep breath, she willed her nerves to calm down. “Do…do you want to know why I moved here?”

Mulder slowly swallowed the water in his mouth as he set down his water bottle, his eyes never leaving Scully’s. The shake of her voice let him know that what she was about to tell him was important. He could only nod his head and sit up straighter, his heart hammering in his ears. She was trying to trust him. Holy shit.

Scully’s hands were shaking so she gripped the bench seat on either side of her legs. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as she thought. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from Mulder when she felt the all too familiar sting of tears.

“Hey.” Mulder’s soft whisper got Scully to turn her head towards him, her eyes still closed as a single tear clung to her lashes. “You don’t have to tell me anything right now. I know that something happened to you.” Two tears slowly escaped her closed eyes at his words, her lower lip trembling slightly. “I don’t know exactly what, but I can guess. I can only guess and hope that I’m wrong but something tells me I’m not.” Her eyes open as more tears stream down her cheeks and he moves his hand so it’s right next her hers on the bench. “So, I understand why you pushed me away. It must be so hard for you to trust me and that’s something I do completely understand. My motto in life for the longest time has been ‘trust no one.’ Then you came along.” He smiled softly and gently stroked her pinky with his, causing her lips to turn up. “And you are so easy to trust.”

Scully’s heart is practically in her throat, beating so loudly she’s sure Mulder can hear it. Her body is flushed and humming and it has nothing to do with the sun beating down on them. It’s all _him._ Without her even noticing, he just broke another piece of her wall off. “Mulder?” Pausing for only a second, she makes up her mind and bumps his shoulder. “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Mulder’s eyebrows shoot up and practically touch his hairline as he leans so far away from Scully he almost falls off the bench. It takes a moment for everything to sink in. Her question, her shy smile, his _lack_ of an answer. Quickly he moves back towards her and nods his head quickly. “Hell yes!”

Scully’s shy smile grows so big it’s practically hurting her face, thanking anyone and anything that might be listening that Mulder is still interested in her. “When are you free?”

“Does tonight work?” Mulder threw trying not to seem desperate right out the window.

“Well, I was hoping to have a little more time to figure out a good date spot for us. I’m still new to the area.” Scully laughed softly at his eagerness.

Mulder grinned. “I have a place in mind.”

Scully raised her right eyebrow before narrowing her eyes playfully. “You look suspicious.”

Mulder laughed. “Can I pick you up at seven tonight?”

Biting her lip and nodding, Scully couldn’t stop her smile from continuing to grow. She was sure Mulder could count all of her teeth by now. “Call me later and I’ll give you my address.” She paused for a second, her smile fading just slightly. Did she really just offer to give him her address?

Mulder immediately caught the look and leaned forward to catch her eyes. “I can tell you where I’m planning on taking you and we could just meet there.” He offered softly. He didn’t like the idea of having her _meet_ him for their first date. He wanted to pick her up, show her how a man should treat a woman, but if she was more comfortable this way he would do it.

 _“Did you_ want _to end things with Agent Mulder that night?” Dr. Wheeler_ _asked as she watched her newest patient, Dr. Dana Scully, pace the room._

 _“No! No! I wanted to_ kiss _him! That was the problem!” Scully practically screamed, tears pouring down her face._

_“Why was that a problem?”_

_“Because! What if he turned out to be just like Stephen?”_

_“Dana.” Dr. Wheeler’s voice was calm and soothing, successfully stilling Scully and getting her attention. “What if he_ didn’t _? There is so much more to the human race than the monster you were married to. Not everyone you meet will be like Stephen. Please, don’t deny yourself happiness.”_

“Scully?”

Mulder’s quiet voice brings her back to the present where he is looking at her in concern. She blinks rapidly a few times, shakes her head, and smiles. _Not everyone you meet will be like Stephen._ “You can pick me up at my apartment."


	8. Chapter 8

To say Mulder was nervous would be an understatement. From the moment he heard Scully’s sweet voice in the park earlier, up until this moment, his hand knocking three times on her front door, he had been nothing but a ball of nervous energy. He wanted everything about this evening to go perfectly for her, for _them_ , and the more he thought about how likely it is that he’ll do something to mess this up, the more nervous he got. Running his hand down the front of his shirt smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles, he briefly wondered if he was dressed _too_ casually for this date. Looking down at his black t-shirt, jeans, and gray Converse, he debated driving back to his apartment and changing but all thoughts of leaving the spot where he was standing flew out of his mind when she opened the door.

Scully was wearing a black tank top and jean shorts that had Mulder’s heart skipping beats. He happened to notice she was wearing a pair of flip flops that revealed her navy blue toenails and they made him smile. She was cute. He happily looked up into her blue eyes that were glinting with a hint of liveliness he hadn’t seen before and took a small step closer to her, holding out the flowers he had gotten her, his voice low. “You are stunning, Dana Scully.”

Scully grinned and took the flowers, her eyes focused on the different colored arrangement. “You need to be careful, Mulder.”

“Why?” Mulder frowned in confusion.

Scully brought the flowers to her nose, appreciating the smell of fresh flowers before looking up at Mulder. “Because I could get use to you flattering me.”

Mulder nodded his head, his voice serious despite his happy beam. “Good. I want you to.”

Scully held his eyes for a moment and smiled coyly before looking down and gently waving the flowers in her hand. “Let me just put these in water and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Okay.” Mulder watched as Scully turned and made her way back into her apartment, every part of him wanting to follow her in, but she didn’t invite him in so he remained in the doorway observing her tidy living room. He found it fascinating how some people had furniture that matched, pictures on the wall, and potted plants. He had a fish tank and that was it. All thoughts of his fish tank were cleared from his mind immediately when she came back into his line of sight, shutting the lights off, and pulling her door closed, that same shy smile still in place.

“I know you said casual but is what I’m wearing okay for tonight?” Scully asked as they started walking towards the elevator. 

Mulder looked into Scully’s eyes as they walked and grinned playfully. “Are you giving me permission to check you out? Because I will.” He paused for a moment. “I actually already did and what you’re wearing is _great_.”

Scully huffed out a small laugh and shook her head, her heart beating just a little faster.

Scully could feel herself starting to become enamored with Mulder. It started when they left her building. He quickly held the door open for her to walk through and then jogged to the passenger door of his car, holding it open for her as well, a proud smile on his face the whole time. After a twenty minute drive, in which they both jokingly sang along to classic rock songs on the radio, they pulled into a makeshift parking lot packed with cars, people walking towards the fair lights in the distance. She smiled at the simplicity and relaxed setting he chose for their first date. Her smile only grew when he shut off the car and winced as he looked at her, waiting for her reaction to his choice in venue, hoping she wouldn’t hate it. He told her that he wanted to take her somewhere they didn’t have to think or worry about impressing each other. He just wanted to have fun with her. Her heart thudded even louder than before at the thought and she told him the fair was a perfect choice. Even though _she_ had asked him out, he paid for their tickets without any hesitation and smiled eagerly at all of the rides and the different game and food stands. His smile was contagious and so was his enthusiasm and she smiled at the feeling he was giving her. She was smitten.

They had been walking for a few minutes, trying to decide what they wanted to do first and their arms kept brushing. At first, Mulder kept apologizing, blaming the crowds for his invasion of her personal space. Then he stopped apologizing and started smirking subtly each time the back of their hands touched or their shoulders bumped. Then finally, he stopped pretending it was an accident and very loosely laced their fingertips together, waiting for Scully to either tighten the hold or brush him away. They both grinned like fools, their bodies heating up, when she fully intertwined their fingers and squeezed his hand softly.

If Mulder had to pick one moment in his life that he felt full of pride, it would be this moment with Scully. Holding her hand, feeling her body so close to his as they walked through the crowds of people, leaning towards one another to talk and whisper intimately, and glaring at other men when they walked past her and leered hungrily before they noticed that her hand was grasping tightly to the hand of a man looking very protective. They all instantly dropped their gazes. He liked _that_ a lot.

“Alright, what are you thinking first? Food, rides, or games?” Mulder asked as he enjoyed the feeling of their hands swinging lightly between them.

At that moment, Scully’s stomach gurgled rather loudly causing them both to laugh. “I guess that answers your question.”

“How adverse are you to fair food?”

Scully smirked. “I try to not make a habit out of eating extremely greasy, deep fried foods but every once in a while I enjoy it.”

After finding a food stand that seemed to sell a little bit of everything and didn’t look like it was run by someone Mulder had arrested in the past, they ordered their food and carefully carried everything over to an area with park benches and sat down to eat. He had ordered an obscenely large pile of nachos, covered in every topping they had and some iced tea. Scully had chuckled at his order and told him he should probably order a bottle of antacids as well. She had decided to order chicken and waffles and blackberry lemonade. He had also ordered them a funnel cake to share.

When they sat down, Scully had to laugh at how much space all their food had taken up. Mulder assured her that he would be able to finish anything she didn’t.

“Do you know the fair food rules?” Mulder asked as he eyed her chicken.

Scully shook her head as she sipped her drink.

“We have to share everything.” Mulder responded quickly as he reached for her plate of food.

Scully laughed, set down her drink, and grabbed her plate back. “I don’t think that’s a rule but I guess since _you_ paid.” She pushed her food towards the middle of the table and glared at him playfully, reminding him that paying for her food wasn’t necessary.

“You can pay for everything on the second date.” Mulder teased.

Scully grabbed a nacho from his plate that he had pushed next to hers and smiled softly. “There’s going to be a second date?”

Mulder was cutting a piece of chicken and waffle when he stopped and looked up, his expression warm and sincere. “I hope so.”

They continued to share their food, smiles on both of their faces, and talked about anything and everything. Mulder asked about Scully’s job and learned that she loves working in the Emergency Department at the hospital but is itching to get back into surgery. She had been a surgeon for years and strangely missed the long hours standing in one spot while she performed surgery. He made sure to steer clear about topics that had to do with her past and quickly changed the subject away from work and onto what she likes to do in her spare time. She liked running, swimming, and reading medical journals. He liked baseball, basketball, and alien conspiracy theories. He talked about the Lone Gunmen and she told him she would like to meet them someday. He had a strong suspicion it was just to try and disprove their theories and that was something he surprisingly wanted to witness. There was something about the idea of this tiny woman putting three men in their place that turned him on. She also told him she had never played baseball in her life but wouldn’t mind a lesson sometime, her voice low and suggestive. He nearly choked on his sip of her blackberry lemonade.

When they had polished off all of the food, they had decided to walk around more and find some games to play. After Mulder threw away their trash and returned to Scully, she stood up and without any hesitation, took his hand in hers again. He loved that her hold on him was so tight.

“Scully, let’s get our faces painted!” Mulder suggested excitedly when they passed the painting stand.

Scully grinned at his childlike enthusiasm and nodded her head. “ _We_ can paint each other’s faces.” She spoke mischievously and pointed to the sign indicating what she had just said hanging next to the stand.

Mulder gently squeezed her hand as they made their way over to the stand. “I feel like I should be nervous.”

Scully simply smirked.

They took turns painting each other’s face. Scully made Mulder paint her face first so she could judge the severity of his painting punishment, depending on what he did to her. She practically held her breath the whole time, his closeness and the subtle smell of his cologne doing amazing things to her. She was sitting on a stool and he was sitting on his own stool on her right side, his legs enclosing around the back of her stool and her legs, his left hand softly tangled in her hair holding her head still, the occasional playful scratch of his nails against her scalp causing her to shiver, the side of his right hand resting gently against her cheek as he painted. When she placed her hand on his knee and stroked her thumb up and down softly in payback, she saw him smirk and when he leaned forward and whispered in her ear to have mercy on him in that husky voice of his, she moaned so quietly that only he could hear her. Who knew face painting could be so sensual?

“Alright, are you ready to see the damage?” Mulder asked softly as he pulled back a little. He kept his legs in place, though, enjoying the closeness that Scully was allowing.

Scully turned to face Mulder, her eyes darting down to his lips before quickly snapping back up to his eyes. She licked her lips at how close he was and cleared her throat. “Let’s see it.”

Mulder grinned and handed Scully a mirror, laughing along with her when she saw what he had painted.

“‘I Spy For The FBI.’ Really?” Scully asked as she examined the black wording on her cheek with a huff of laughter.

“Do you like it? That song is a classic.”

“I love it, Mulder.” Scully smiled as she handed him the mirror. She stood up and made her way over to the stand and carefully selected her own paints and paint brushes before turning around and gesturing towards him, wiggling her eyebrows. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I definitely should be nervous.” Mulder remarked as he straightened out on the stool. He was secretly hoping she would take up the same painting positon he had. He was only slightly disappointed when she decided to stand and lean over slightly to paint, the position giving her a better angle because of her height. Her legs might not be wrapped around him but he could feel her body heat, smell that sweet smell of her perfume, feel her hands in his hair and on his face, and when he started to get brave he very softly brushed his fingertips against her knees reveling in the feel of the goosebumps taking over her skin. He smiled broadly when she playfully swatted his shoulder a few times and kept his hands to himself, not wanting to push her and possibly ruin the evening.

Scully was faster than Mulder was at painting and after only a few minutes, handed him the mirror proudly. Mulder chuckled when he saw what she painted. A giant, green “X” outlined in a shiny silver.

“A tribute to your X-Files.” Scully smiled brightly as she explained her choice. “I figured green was ‘alien’ enough and yes, I _know_ aliens are gray but they don’t have gray paint so silver had to substitute.”

Mulder’s mouth fell open slightly in disbelief and lust flickered in his eyes. “You- you know aliens are gray?”

“I might have done some research on the wonders of space after our conversation in the park.” Scully shrugged and set her paints and brush down on the stand before turning back to Mulder, smiling hesitantly and tilting her head when she noticed he hadn’t moved and was just staring at her. “What?” She laughed softly.

Mulder dropped to one knee in front of Scully and took her hand in his. “Will you marry me?”

Scully rolled her eyes, her laugh coming out a little breathy, as she tugged on his hand until he stood up. He grinned as he stood up, his hand never leaving hers as he looked around noticing a few people watching them curiously with smiles on their faces. “She knows aliens are gray.” He spoke happily to the people watching as she laughed next to him.

Making Scully laugh was Mulder’s favorite thing to do. It was right up there with making her blush, making her smile, listening to her talk, and hearing that quiet, breathy moan he had barely heard earlier. Oh, and he couldn’t forget how she now felt comfortable touching him, _being_ touched by him, and the way she took his hand like it was the most natural thing for her to do. He had a lot of favorites when it came to this woman. She was captivating and he was charmed by her.

After face painting, Mulder decided to show off his baseball skills a little, by paying almost ten dollars to throw five baseballs at milk bottles, hoping to win Scully an alien plush toy. She watched in amusement as each ball he threw just scarcely missed the bottles, her hand over her mouth to cover her smile. When he was down to his last ball, she asked if she could try. He smiled and tossed the ball to her and watched in rapture as she chucked the ball as hard as she could and managed to knock over every single bottle, winning the toy.

“Are you sure you never played baseball before?” Mulder asked her suspiciously as they walked towards the ferris wheel, Scully holding her prize.

“Beginners luck, I swear.” She grinned. She might have tossed a few balls to her brothers growing up but she would never tell Mulder that. She still wanted him to “teach” her the sport after all.  

By the time they were seated and made it to the top of the ferris wheel, lucky enough to be at the very top when it stopped, the sun was setting, creating a gorgeous purple, pink, and orange color in the sky. Mulder looked over at Scully and smiled when he noticed her arm was wrapped around the alien sitting next to her. His smile only grew as he watched her face, the lightness of it, the happiness on it. She looked so relaxed and blissful as she looked toward the sky. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. She must have sensed his gaze on her because the next moment she turned and looked at him, her lips pulling up at the corners.

“Tonight has been wonderful, Mulder. Thank you for bringing me here.” Scully spoke softly as she stroked her thumb over his, their hands locked and resting on her thigh. “And thank you for not letting go of my hand tonight.” Her chest flushed a little at her apparent need to be tactile with him.

Mulder smiled, his eyes softening. “Thank _you_ for letting me hold your hand. I wasn’t sure…” He paused, not sure how to finish his sentence.

“How much would be _too_ much?” Scully supplied with a sad smile. “I know.” She raised their hands and squeezed. “This I can handle.” Then slowly, she began leaning towards him, her eyes flickering down to his lips then back to his eyes, begging him to meet her halfway. He took the hint and leaned forward, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Their lips were so close, they could feel each other’s ragged breath but he was still hesitant to close the distance. He was more than ready to find out if her lips were as soft as they looked, but he would be damned if he did something she didn’t truly want, so he waited. She smiled, her eyes fluttering closed as she whispered against his lips. “I can handle _this,_ too.”

With that final permission granted, Mulder closed his eyes and the distance between them. Their lips brushed together softly. It was just a gentle meeting of closed lips at first, each testing the waters, the growing smiles on their joined lips indicating just how much they wanted to swim a little further. He began moving his lips against Scully’s, happy when he felt her moving with him. He increased the pressure slightly with each coming together of their lips and brought his free hand up to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. She leaned into him and threaded the fingers of her free hand into the hair at the back of his neck while brushing her thumb over his hand that was still holding hers. The sound of their lips parting, the feel of his lips quickly finding hers, the tip of his tongue just meeting the tip of hers, deepening the kiss slightly, it was all too much. Too much in the most delicious way possible. She couldn’t remember the last time she had kissed a man and actually enjoyed it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt lips caress hers in a way that only served to give her pleasure not pain, wanted to give _to_ her not _take_ from her. She couldn’t remember the last time hands were in her hair and pulled soothed purring sounds from her throat instead of cries of agony. And she didn’t think she had ever been held so closely and gently by someone. His kisses were slow and languid and she could tell he was just living in the moment, enjoying this just as much as she was, without trying to push her further or move his hands anywhere private. She felt the sting of very happy tears burn her eyes but she refused to let them fall.      

When the ferris wheel jerked alive again and began to bring them slowly back down to the ground, they pulled apart, resting their foreheads together, eyes still closed, smiles as bright as ever.

“You taste like vanilla.” Mulder whispered and leaned forward, capturing Scully’s lips in a quick kiss.

Scully laughed softly and pulled back, her eyes opening to find his watching her intently as he brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. She felt like her body was on fire and she loved the flames. “Is that a good thing?” She leaned forward and captured his lips in a deep, slow kiss.

When Scully broke the kiss, Mulder pulled back just far enough to look into her eyes. “ _You_ are a good thing, Dana Scully.”

The flush of her chest spread up to her cheeks and she leaned into his lips as they pressed into the center of her forehead. And just like that, another piece of her wall fell away.  

A few minutes later as they were leaving the fair, smiles on their faces as they walked towards Mulder’s car, Scully couldn’t shake a sudden uneasy feeling. It had nothing to do with the sweet man with his arm around her shoulder, but something was bothering her. She turned her head to see if someone was watching them. Her eyes scanned the crowd behind them, but couldn’t see anyone looking in their direction and yet…that sickening knot in her stomach wouldn’t fade. The last time she had that horrible feeling was over four months ago, the last time Stephen had looked at her.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a little after eleven when Mulder pulled up in front of Scully’s apartment building. As soon as they had gotten in the car, she had asked him to tell her something about himself or just talk about anything at all because she wanted to try and shake that uneasy feeling. Of course, she didn’t mention that last part and listened happily as he told her random facts about alien abductions. When she heard his theory on missing time, she just had to argue her point and quickly forgot all of her anxious feelings. It wasn’t until he put his car in park and turned to look at her that she realized just how quickly this night had gone and that she wanted more time with him.

“I had a really nice time tonight, Mulder.” Scully spoke softly as she unbuckled her seat belt. She made no move to get out of the car, however.

Mulder’s eyes lit up and his smile widened. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Scully laughed softly as she nodded her head. She smiled at Mulder as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, her heart skipping a beat at the idea of possibly getting a goodnight kiss. Her heart skipped a few more beats when she thought about postponing that goodnight kiss and inviting him up. Her mind twisted over how exactly to word what she wanted without giving him the wrong idea. Tonight had been amazing for her. Not once had she felt unsafe with him. Not once had she wanted to end the night early so she could run back home and lock the door. She had _wanted_ to hold his hand and she most definitely wanted to kiss him and now, looking into his bright and open hazel eyes and that sweet smile, she knew she wanted to invite him up to her apartment. “In fact… I had such a nice time tonight that I- I don’t want it to end.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Mulder grinned and slowly turned the keys in the ignition, shutting the car off and plunging them into a silence. Not awkward by any means, just a relaxed silence. He sat with his hands in his lap, his fingers playing with the keys in his hand as he watched Scully watching him. He knew she was studying him, looking for something, she had been doing that a lot ever since they first met and he was more than happy to let her. If she needed to see something on his face, in his eyes, or through his body language to help her relax around him, then he was more than happy to let her stare at him all night until she found what she was looking for. He felt that he made his intentions with her clear. He wasn’t going to hurt her, he wasn’t going to push, and he definitely wasn’t going to run away and he could only hope she could sense those things. The fact that she held his hand, was open to touches, and kissed him with a little tongue reassured him he was being transparent with his feelings and he smiled.

Scully smiled as well, her blue eyes flickering in the streetlights. With one last look over Mulder’s face, she took a deep breath and huffed out a small laugh at what she was about to do, at how far she had come since moving to D.C. “I- I want to…to ask you up. Just… I want to be clear that I’m not…that I…” She shook her head and tilted her head back against the headrest, her smile fading just a little when she felt herself choking on the words and ruining the moment. She wondered when everything would be easy again. When everything she said and did didn’t have to be checked and doubled checked by her mind. When she could just _feel_ and _live_ in moments.

“Hey.” Mulder spoke softly and waited for Scully to turn her head to look at him. “How easy do you think I am? I _never_ have sex on the first date.” He kept his tone light and teasing, trying to lighten the moment while at the same time easing her fears about what his expectations were.

Scully smiled gratefully at Mulder as she opened her door. “Thank you.”

Mulder shook his head as he opened his own door. “You don’t need to thank me for my high moral standards. Now let’s go continue our date.”

After a quick elevator ride up to Scully’s floor and a short walk down the empty hallway, she put her key in the lock and opened her front door, blindly finding the light switch on the wall and turning the lights on before she even took one step through the doorway. Ever since she moved to D.C., she never stepped into a darkened room, not even for a second. There were still somethings that made her shake and walking into a room with no visibility was one of them. The things Stephen did to her in the dark will haunt her forever.

Mulder noticed Scully’s brief pause and her hand sliding up the wall to find the light switch but he didn’t say anything about it as he followed her into the apartment, slowly closing the door behind him. His heart tightened painfully in his chest as he watched her glance quickly, nervously towards the dark kitchen and what he assumed was the hallway that led to her bedroom. Thoughts of what this woman has been put through raced through his mind and made him feel sick. What happened to her to make her nervous to be in her own apartment with the lights off? In the back of his brilliant profiler mind, he _knew_ what she had been through, not in detail of course, but he could form a pretty horrific idea.

Mulder watched as Scully toed off her flip flops and he smiled softly when she looked up at him. “Can I get you anything to drink, Mulder?”

“I’ll have something if you are.”

Scully nodded her head and gestured to the living room, her lips twitching up at the corners. “You can make yourself comfortable. Unless leaning against the front door does it for you.”

Mulder pushed himself away from the door and took a step towards Scully’s living room before he remembered to slip out of his shoes. He noticed she had and figured it was what she preferred. “God, your feet are tiny. Size six?” He couldn’t help but remark with a small chuckle when he leaned down to set his shoes next to her flip flops, noting the somewhat faded size stamped on the heels.

He could hear Scully laugh quietly as he stood up and turned around, watching her pull two glasses down from the cabinets and set them next to an unopened bottle of wine. “Oh, that’s not small, Mulder, that’s average. My sister-in-law is the one that has tiny feet. Size _five_.”

“One whole size difference, Scully. _One_.” Mulder held up his finger, a smile on his lips, as he slowly made his way into the kitchen where she had just proudly uncorked a bottle of red. “And your sister-in-law...she’s married to your brother…Bill Jr.?”

Scully raises both of her eyebrows as she looks up at Mulder with a surprised but very pleased smile. “Yes. I’m actually kind of amazed you remembered that.”

Mulder places his right hand over his heart and mockingly gasps. “I paid attention to what you said on our causal dinner.”

Scully smiles softly at the memory as she pours two glasses of wine. “I know you did.” Her voice is low and warm as she looks up, never taking her eyes off Mulder’s dark hazel eyes as she hands him one of the glasses. “I was actually kind of amazed by that, too.”

Mulder’s eyebrows come together in confusion as he takes a sip of wine. “You didn’t think I would listen to you?”

Scully shook her head as she lowered her glass from her lips. She crossed her left arm under her chest and leaned against the counter behind her as she swallowed the wine she had been saving for when she felt she had made actual progress in her therapy with Dr. Wheeler. She would have to say having a man standing in her kitchen and feeling no apprehension after a _very_ successful date and a _very_ steamy kiss was progress. “I honestly didn’t know what to think. I’m, uh, not…not used to it.” When Mulder stayed silent, urging her without words to explain what “it” meant, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “In my professional life, people respect what I have to say. They listen. They hear me. In my practically nonexistent romantic life…I-I was never listened to. I was never heard.” She lets herself take another shaky breath and locks eyes with those comforting hazel ones. “Or seen for that matter. I…was hurt. _Constantly._ So, when I agreed to go to dinner with you that first time, I wasn’t sure-” Her voice breaks suddenly and before she even realizes what she’s doing, her eyes close as tears stream down her face, dark memories flooding her mind without warning, and words that she never intended to speak spill out. “I wasn’t sure if you would tear me apart just like he did.”   

Without any hesitation, Mulder steps in front of Scully, takes the glass from her shaking hand and sets it down along with his own on the counter behind her, and cups her cheeks with his hands, gently brushing his thumbs under her eyes. He feels her jump slightly at the contact but notices that she doesn’t pull away or push him away, just simply opens her eyes and looks up at him, tears streaking down her cheeks only to be brushed away by his thumbs. He leans into her, pressing the softest kiss to her forehead, causing her eyes to flutter closed again. She inhales sharply when she feels his lips on her left eyelid, then her right and as he places a kiss on the tip of her nose, the tenderness of his touches causes her lips to quiver, as a sob builds in her chest.

Slowly and without any sexual undertones, Mulder lets his hands lightly trace down the sides of her cheeks, along the smooth skin of her neck, over her tense shoulders, until they finally come to rest on her biceps. “What did he do to you?”

Scully’s eyes snap open at Mulder’s softly spoken words and the slight shake in his voice. Her wet eyes dance with his as his hands hold her, making her feel safe. Taking one last breath and releasing it with the sob that had been trying to get out, she manages to say two words before the dam breaks. “So much.”

Mulder pulls her forward by her arms and wraps her up in a tight embrace, trying to hold her steady as her body shakes violently against him. He can already feel wetness seeping through the cotton of his shirt from her tears, her arms around his waist and her hands grasping tightly to his back. He feels her hands grip his shirt, then loosen for a moment only to reattach, tighter. She repeats this action a few times, almost as if she is trying to claw her way into him and she can’t get deep enough so she has to keep trying until she finally does.

Mulder keeps one hand on the back of Scully’s neck, the other tangled in her hair as she cries into him. He didn’t think this would happen so soon, her speaking about what had happened to her. He knew that she had been through something and his gut feeling was right, an abusive relationship. God, how his heart ached for her and what she must have gone through. He wanted to hear everything _right now_ and at the same time he _never_ wanted to hear anything about it. He didn’t think he would be able to handle looking into her blue eyes as she relived what must be her own personal horror stories. He would take what she gave him, though. He would _gladly_ take what she gave him.

When Scully’s sobs subsided and her tears dried, she found herself sitting on her couch with Mulder’s arms wrapped tightly around her, no memory of moving to the couch. Their thighs were touching and he was so close and warm and so damn soft and yet strong. Strong and safe. But she didn’t let herself enjoy his embrace for long. Slowly, she pulled away from him and moved over on the couch so that they were no longer touching. When she looked at him, an embarrassed blush covering her cheeks, she saw confusion in his eyes and she managed a very small, sad smile. “I am so sorry, Mulder.”

“For what?” Mulder shook his head, itching to close the space between them again.

Scully huffed out a mirthless laugh. “For doing… _this_ tonight.” She gestured at her still tear stained face before letting her hand flop down on her lap. “For walking away from you that night. For giving you a chance and then taking it back. For hurting you and confusing you and giving you more than you signed up for when you first met me. I’m sure you didn’t think I would be like this. So, I am sorry and I am giving you an out, right now.”

Mulder watched Scully chew her bottom lip, her fingers rubbing together as she watched him, waiting for _anything._ When he finally spoke, his voice was clear and sure. “When I first saw you, I immediately thought you were gorgeous. There was an attraction there from the start and I asked you out, hoping to spend time with you and get to know you because I wanted to see if there was more than just a physical attraction there. That’s called dating, Doctor Scully.” Mulder smiled softly. “People go on dates to get to _know_ someone they are interested in romantically. That means getting to know the good, the bad, and everything in between and deciding if the person is worth sticking around for.” Mulder leaned forward, towards her but not invading her space. “I thought about you every day for the past few months. No matter what I did, you were in my mind. I was stuck on _you_. I’m sticking around.”

Scully felt like her chest was collapsing in on itself and like an intense heat was swallowing her body. Mulder’s words had literally taken her breath away and so she sat, staring at him, fresh tears pooling and her mouth opening slightly until she found air. “What do you see in me?” She breathed out in nothing more than a whisper.

“So much.” Mulder repeated her words from earlier.

After a long pause in which neither one of them spoke, Scully licked her upper lip as her heart thrummed in her throat. “H…h-he was my husband.”

Scully watched Mulder carefully, studying him, waiting for the first flinch, the first sign that he didn’t want to hear this, that his words were just words and nothing more. If there was any sign, she would quickly seal herself back up with no hope of opening again. She waited for some sign that this man wasn’t what he said he was, but she got the opposite of what she was expecting. At her words, he scooted towards her subtly, his eyes open and encouraging, so she continued to peel herself for him. “He hurt me. In _every way_ someone can be hurt. And because of that, I feel... damaged. I have triggers and nightmares and new hang ups on things like walking into a dark room.” She _had_ noticed him watching her curiously earlier. “I have good days…sometimes even _great_ days but I also have-” Her words caught in her thickening throat as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m afraid.”   

Mulder could feel a burning in his eyes and he blinked rapidly as he moved even closer to Scully, wanting nothing more than to touch her. “What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid that my life will never be the same. I’m afraid I- I can’t trust anymore and- and that I’ll never be truly happy. But the thing that terrifies me the most...is him finding me.”

Mulder places his hand on the couch in between the small space separating them. “As far as your life never being the same, never trusting anyone, or being happy…it just feels that way right now. I have no idea how long it will take, but one day, you’ll wake up happy and you will trust again. I damn sure promise you that. As for him finding you…well, like I said, I plan on sticking around and as long as you let me in your life, he won’t fucking touch you, Dana.”

With a small whimper, Scully closes the distance between them and brings her lips to his, reveling in the feeling of his warmth and his strong arms wrapped around her. She is pouring every emotion she is feeling into this kiss, hoping that he will feel what she is. Hoping that he knows she wants him to stick. His lips move with hers, surprised and slow at first but now quick and sure.  

When they pull away for air, Mulder trails a line of feather light kisses along Scully’s jaw to her ear, placing one last kiss on her lobe before pulling her tightly against him, their cheeks resting together. She lets her head fall forward onto his shoulder as her arms tighten around him. She doesn’t want to move from this spot, she doesn’t want her heart to stop beating wildly against his, and she definitely doesn’t want to stop the smile that spreads across her face when he whispers in her ear that he is so glad he fell from that tree.

But she does.

She does because there is a sudden pounding at her front door.  

She does because the pounding is so hard it practically shakes the walls.

She does because she hears Stephen yelling her name with more venom in his voice than she has ever heard.


	10. Chapter 10

Scully feels sick as her hands begin to shake and all of the oxygen in the room seems to vanish. She looks at her front door, watching it shake, and hears Stephen’s voice screaming her name over and over again causing fear to course through her body. She can feel tears threatening to fall from her eyes because she never thought she would feel this terror again. She thought it was over and that she was free but she was wrong. _So_ wrong.

The walls of Scully’s apartment suddenly felt like they were closing in on her and the clothes she was wearing felt ten sizes too small. She was vaguely aware of trying, and failing, to stand up on her now shaky legs before she felt _him_.

Mulder.

Slowly, Scully’s apartment seemed to expand along with her chest, letting more air enter her lungs as Mulder’s hand lightly ran down the back of her head. She turned away from the door to look at him and the tears threatening to fall finally did. She reached out for him and within seconds, both of his strong hands were encompassing hers. He ducked his head down, looking up at her eyes as he spoke so softly she had to lean forward to hear him. “You still with me?”

Scully blinked rapidly and let out a very shaky breath as she shook her head. “Barely.”

Mulder squeezed Scully’s hands gently when he heard the crack in her voice. “Is that-” He paused, unsure how to finish that sentence in a way that wouldn’t offend her, but he didn’t need to. The distress in her eyes and the shake of her body told him _exactly_ who was on the other side of that door. He knew that he needed to be calm and collected for her. She looked like she was one more shout of her name away from slipping away and he would be damned if he let that happen. Not again. “Do you want me to call the police?”

Taking a deep breath in, Scully tried so hard to stabilize her voice but it came out shakier than ever. “Yes. I, um, I-I have a r-restraining order against him.”

“Good.” Mulder nodded and managed a small, reassuring smile. He waited until Scully’s eyes stopped darting around the room and focused on him, her chest heaving dangerously. He reached up with his right hand and slowly smoothed a few strands of hair off of her face. “Try and take deep, slow breaths.” He could recognize the beginnings of a panic attack from a mile away. God knows how many he had to help his mother through when he was younger. He placed her right hand on his chest, over his heart, and took a few deep breaths in and let them out, relieved when she nodded her head in understanding and began to follow his breathing pattern.

“Where’s your phone?” Mulder asked but he knew exactly where it was. He had seen the landline sitting on Scully’s desk earlier that evening when he picked her up for their date but he needed her to focus on something other than the pounding on the door.

With the hand that wasn’t clutching Mulder’s shirt over his heart, Scully pointed at the desk behind him. “Next to the computer.”

Mulder nodded his head as he picked up Scully’s hand from his chest, kissed her fingertips lightly, then placed her hand on her own chest above her heart. He stood and made his way over to her phone, picked it up and dialed. He made his way back over to her as the phone rang in his ear. When he reached her, her eyes were once again trained on the door and her hand had slipped from her now rapidly moving chest.

Mulder’s anger began to rise as he listened to the dispatch operator answer the phone and say her opening lines. The sound of Scully's breathing was so ragged he was sure she wasn’t getting any air. The urge to hang up the phone, open that door, and end the monster on the other side of it was almost too much. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in, he spoke into the phone. “This is Special Agent Fox Mulder, FBI. My badge number is 04710. I have a restraining order violation at-” He sat on the edge of the couch next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. She jumped a little but turned to look at him, her eyes cloudy. He could tell she was a million miles away from him. “Remind me what your address is.”

Once again, this was information that Mulder knew already but he needed Scully to come back to him and focus. He watched as her eyes squeezed shut and she shook her head, the noise too much for her. “I can’t.”

“I know.” Mulder spoke softly before placing the phone in Scully’s shaky hand. When she opened her eyes to look at him, he gently cupped her head, his hands covering her ears slightly, trying his hardest to block out the sounds around her. That seemed to work because her blue eyes got a little bit of their focus back. “What room is furthest away from your front door?”

Scully paused for a moment before she spoke so quietly Mulder had to strain to hear her. “My bedroom.”

“Okay, go into your bedroom and talk to the operator on the phone.”

“Okay.”

Mulder stood up with Scully and reluctantly lowered his hands from her. He smiled as reassuringly as he could and was more than a little surprised when she leaned forward and gave him a very chaste kiss on the lips before making her way towards her bedroom. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. She was still with him.

When Mulder heard Scully’s bedroom door close his mind was free to focus on the man yelling loudly, most likely waking up half of the apartment building. His first and main concern was Scully. Calming _her_ , doing what _she_ needed and now that she was safely in her bedroom on the phone with the police, his body began to wrestle with itself. His aching heart was telling him to open the door and beat the shit out of the asshole on the other side of it until he was gasping for breath but his rational brain was telling him to wait for the police and let them handle it. Somewhere in the middle of their argument, his heart and brain shook hands and came to an agreement. He was going to at least confront that son of a bitch. 

Mulder made his way to the front door and without the slightest bit of hesitation, undid the locks and flung it open. He took two steps forward so he was standing in the hallway and shut the door behind him, his eyes fixed on the cold, dark ones directly in front of him. He managed to suppress a smirk when he saw this man take a few steps back. “You need to leave. Right Now.” His low, dangerous voice surprised even him.

The man quickly regained his composure and smirked. “I’m not leaving until I get what I own.”

Mulder saw red and clenched his fists. “You don’t own anything here. Leave.”

The man chuckled darkly. “Oh, I know I don’t own _anything_ here. I own _someone_ here. My wife, Dana Cowan.”

At his words, Mulder took a step forward and drew himself up to his full height. “She is not a piece of property. You do _not_ own her. She has a restraining order against you and you’re in violation of it. Get out of here.”

He only smirked and shook his head. “I wonder what lies Dana told to get that restraining order. Probably the same ones she’s told you.” He raises his eyebrows in question. “I’m sure she’s told you that I scream at her, call her names, hit her, kick her, oh and my personal favorite, that I rape her. Tell me, how can a _husband_ rape his own _wife_?”

Mulder could feel his blood pumping in his ears, his hands twitching by his sides. Scully hadn't shared any details of her abuse but if she had to go through all that... Mulder felt his chest ache for her. “Marriage did not give you consent to have sex with her. Marriage did not give you the go ahead to lay your fucking hands on her and hurt her. Marriage did not make it okay for you to terrorize her.”

“Marriage _should_ give me the right to kill a man who runs his hands all over my wife and kisses her on a ferris wheel, don’t you think?” There was a long pause as both men stared at each other, neither backing down or looking away, before the silence was broken. “Let me ask you something. Do you know how long Dana and I have been together? Seven years. Seven years, three of those years we spent _happily_ married. Why would she stay with me for seven years if she truly didn’t like the way I treat her? If she wasn’t in love with me?”

“Let me ask _you_ something. Did you ever think that you made her afraid to leave you?” Mulder spoke slowly and clearly, hoping that his words would somehow sink in.

Something unreadable flickered across the man’s darkened eyes before his gaze was drawn to the door that just opened. Mulder watched in revulsion as the man in front of him drew his gaze to Scully, the smirk on his face growing as his eyes clearly roamed over her body. “There’s my baby. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Mulder.” Scully’s voice sounded so desperate and Mulder turned to her instantly, his eyes softening and the fire burning inside of him dissipating. Her eyes were red rimmed and he could see her body shaking from where he was standing. She was locked onto him, not sparing even a flicker of a glance to the piece of trash behind him and ignoring his words.

Quickly, Mulder made his way to Scully and watched as she disappeared out of sight back into the apartment as soon as she was sure he was coming in.

“You know, this isn’t the last time we are going to see each other, right?” A voice said from somewhere in the hall.

Mulder stepped into the apartment, closed the door behind him, and locked it, taking a leaf out of Scully’s book and ignoring him completely. These were choppy waters for him and he had never been in this situation before so to say he was a little lost was an understatement. He felt so many things, so many emotions. He felt strangely guilty for allowing himself to exchange words with that man and yet he felt angry when he thought of all the things he should have said to him. All the things he should have _done_ to him, but this was _her_ battle not his. And yet… did that mean he couldn’t fight it with her?

“Mulder.”

Scully’s whisper coming from the couch brings Mulder back to the present and he walks over to her but hesitates, not sure where she wants him to be or how much space she needs. Sensing his uncertainty, she manages to smile slightly and places her hand on the cushion directly beside her. She’s staying with him and the thought makes him return her smile as he moves to sit next to her. Close enough to feel her body heat but not touching. He’ll let her be the first to initiate the contact.

“I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”

Mulder shakes his head at her quiet words, his hands yearning to touch her. She is definitely his own personal magnet. He can feel that she has more to tell him so he sits quietly. He watches with a pained expression in his eyes as she turns her head and watches the door for a beat, almost as if she is waiting for the pounding to begin again, her fingers linking together and then coming apart nervously. She takes a deep breath in and very slowly releases it as she turns her head back to him, her eyes gazing into his. “I, uh, really don’t know what to say to you right now. There’s just a lot going on in…” She doesn’t bother to finish her sentence, she just simply waves a hand in the general direction of her head and brushes away a tear from the corner of her eye with her finger before continuing. “That out is still on the table if you want it. Honestly, Mulder if you decide you want to leave, I wouldn’t blame you and I most certainly wouldn’t hold it against you.” Her voice cracks as she speaks and she ends her sentence with a sharp intake of breath, like she’s fighting back another crying jag.

Mulder tentatively reaches out a hand toward Scully’s cheek, pausing just before he makes contact. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly when she nods her head immediately, consenting to his touch. He cups her cheek, his thumb softly swiping back and forth before he leans closer to her and rests their foreheads together. His breath mingles with hers, their lips so close together he would hardly have to move to kiss her. But he waits for her okay.

Scully lets the intimacy last, using this moment as a way to sooth herself before she closes her eyes and nods her head just enough for Mulder to feel it. As he starts to move forward, she quickly brings up two fingers and places them on his lips, halting his actions. “I really hate to put this much pressure on you this soon, but… please, _please_ , only kiss me if you’re still planning on sticking around.”

Mulder places two gentle kisses on Scully’s fingertips before reaching up, taking her hand in his, and lowers their tangled hands to her lap before closing the distance between their lips. The kiss was slow and sweet, just meant to reassure. He could feel her body start to relax against him and he welcomed the weight, moving closer to her so she wouldn’t have to lean forward as much.

Placing one last kiss on Mulder’s lips, Scully didn’t want to pull away, so she simply let her body relax fully against his and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist, her face buried in his neck. She marveled at how his scent was already associated with comfort in her mind. She signed when she felt his arms drape over her shoulders, the heaviness of his muscles grounding her, and she was absolutely done for when his fingers began to play in her hair. She was exhausted, just so damn tired of having to live in a constant state of fight or flight and hearing Stephen’s voice, having his eyes on her, brought back that exhausting feeling. She just wanted the tension to roll off of her and Mulder was doing an excellent job of easing it.

“God, I hope he left.” She mumbled into his neck after letting his fingers play with her hair for a few minutes.

“I would be more than happy to check.” Mulder spoke softly into Scully’s hair.

She tightened her hold on him in response, feeling a strong wave of affection for this man that started in her toes and worked its way up to her chest, before pulling back just enough to look at him. “I know you would but I don’t want you to have to be more involved in this than you already are.”

After she had gotten off the phone, she had walked back out into the living room, fully expecting to see Mulder sitting on the couch where she had left him and when he wasn’t anywhere in sight, her heart began to race. She was ashamed to admit this, even to herself, but for a moment she was sure he had left. That all of this was too much for him and he left her. Her chest tightened painfully at the thought until she heard _two_ raised voices coming from the hallway. One making her shake in anxiety and rage, the other making her ears perk up and her heart skip in the best way possible.

Scully had caught a few words when she approached the door, her eyes stinging with fresh tears at Mulder’s defense of her, a woman he hardly knows, but Stephen revealing that they had been together for seven years needed some explaining. It was too much to put into words for her right now and she just hoped that Mulder wouldn’t dwell on those words until she could open up more of her past to him. For now, she knew she could only focus on the issue at hand. Giving his waist one last squeeze, she inhaled deeply before standing up and very slowly made her way to her front door, looking through the peephole cautiously.

The breath that Scully had been holding released in a rush when she saw an empty hallway. Well, empty except for two policemen, her parents, and her sister all of whom suddenly appeared in front of her door. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, next chapter will have the official meeting of the family. Well, minus the bothers BUT they are coming. ;)

Mulder stood up and watched as Scully quickly opened the door. For a moment, he was worried that _he_ was still on the other side of the door and she was going to confront him but when an older and very worried looking woman rushed through the door and hugged her, he released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

Mulder watched as an older man and a younger woman rushed in next and went to Scully’s side while two police officers walked in, quickly surveyed the room, their eyes landing on him. One of the officers began walking towards him with his right hand on his gun holster but the other officer placed a hand on his chest, stopping him. “That’s not the guy.”

Mulder’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, wondering how _that_ officer recognized him as he stepped forward and held out his hand. “No, uh, I’m Special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. I made the call.”

Both officers stepped forward, shaking Mulder’s hand one at a time. The second officer nodded his head towards Scully as they shook hands. “I’m Officer Mark Westley, Dana’s brother-in-law. I had no idea this was an FBI matter.”

Mulder shook Mark’s hand and released it, his eyes looking towards Scully who was currently being tightly embraced by the older man, his mind racing with the thought that these people must be her family. He would only be lying if he said that didn’t make his heart race with panic. She must have been listening to their conversation because she pulled away from the man hugging her and met his eyes almost apologetically but her gaze calmed his nerves. She watched him for a moment before addressing everyone in the room.

“We were…on a date when Stephen showed up.”

Mulder noticed that everyone in the room seemed to bristle when Scully spoke that name. He didn’t blame them. He also didn’t blame them when the _other_ part of her sentence registered and they all turned their attention to him. He didn’t _blame_ them but that didn’t stop him from wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. 

“A date? At midnight? In your apartment?” The older man, who Mulder could safely assume was Scully’s father, asked in a slightly raised voice.

“Dad… he… we weren’t-” Scully paused and rubbed her fingers across her forehead where she could feel the beginnings of a very bad headache forming.

There was a very uncomfortable silence in the room and everyone could feel the tension thickening until Mark cleared his throat and motioned for his partner to follow him towards the door. “Dana, we are going to go do a once around the block to see if he’s still in the neighborhood then we’ll be back to take statements.”

Scully nodded and smiled knowingly, grabbing Mark’s hand as he walked past her. “Thank you for calling them.” She nodded towards her family.

“When I heard the panic in your voice over the radio, I just thought you could use their company. I had no idea you already had…company.” Mark spoke quietly and very apologetically.

“It’s okay.” Scully squeezed Mark’s hand before letting go and watching him and his partner walk out the front door, closing it behind them, plunging everyone into a palpable silence once again.

Sighing, Scully ran her fingers over her forehead once more, her headache now a dull throbbing pain wrapping around her head as she looked at Mulder through her eyelashes. She watches him for a moment and when he smiles softly, reassuringly, she exhales sharply and returns his smile, dropping her hand and taking a few steps towards him, her voice soft, almost a whisper. “You don’t have to stay. Mark can get in contact with you and get your statement over the phone.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re not going to introduce us?”

Mulder looks past Scully’s now tightly shut eyes, to the voice coming from the younger woman behind her who shares her red hair, her blue eyes glaring cautiously at him.

“No, Melissa, I’m not.” Scully speaks almost shyly before opening her eyes, silently pleading with Mulder not to run away from her, not to come to his senses and decide she is more trouble than she’s worth. Meeting the threatening ex-husband and the overprotective family after the first date was the best way to guarantee she wouldn’t be getting another one. She watched in apprehension as he looked over her shoulder, no doubt at the scowling faces of her family, before smiling politely at them. When his eyes once again met hers, she took another small step towards him, not knowing what to say, her unease and embarrassment at an all-time high until he started glancing around her living room like he was looking for something. Her eyebrows furrowed in question as she watched him turn and look at her desk, walk over to it and pick up a pen before walking back towards her with a small, innocent smile on his lips.

When Mulder reached Scully, he gently took her right hand with his left and turned it so her palm was facing up. Her faced relaxed and she huffed out a very soft laugh when she realized what he was doing. “There, now you have my number to give to Mark…and so you can call and ask me out on that second date.”

Scully’s smile widen slightly as she looked down at the drying ink on her palm. Her eyes fluttered briefly when she felt Mulder’s hand caress her cheek softly, getting her eyes back up to his. Her breath hitched in anticipation as she watched him lean towards her. She let her eyes close when he was a breath away from her lips, waiting for the calming feel of his lips on hers. She sighed in frustration when he kissed the corner of her mouth instead and pulled away, slowly dropping his hand from her face to hold her hand. She opened her eyes and glared jokingly at him, watching his eyes crinkle in the corners before his expression turned serious. “Are you going to be okay?”

Scully let out a long sigh as she squeezed his hand and nodded her head once, trying her hardest to smile reassuringly but she knew her lips faltered. “Mhmm.”

Mulder held Scully’s eyes for a minute, his heart aching at how red they still were. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her and hold her and just stay with her but he could feel the tension in the room pushing down on him and he knew it was best for everyone if he kept the intimate touching to a minimum and left her with her family. He could also tell that she was just barely holding herself together and he wanted to give her the privacy to fully break down if she needed to. So, nodding his head, he slowly walked around Scully, her fingertips staying linked with his for a moment before she let him go. Making his way over to the front door, he nodded his head at the three people standing there, staring at him with unreadable expressions, and managed a small and very awkward smile before he opened the door and walked out. When the door closed behind him and he started to make his way to the elevator, he finally released a very deep breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. As he pressed the down button to call the elevator, his mind started racing through the events of the evening. Everything had been perfect until…Stephen showed up. Her ex-husband. Or was he a current husband? The way he was talking made it sound like they were still married. Still married after three years? They had been together for _seven years,_ though. That’s a long fucking time. Is that how long he abused her for or did it start further into their relationship? What happened to her? What all did he do to her? What other triggers does she have? Can she handle another relationship?

“Shit.” Mulder mumbled to himself as the elevator dinged, signaling its arrival as the doors opened. “Can _I_ handle a relationship with her?”

He stepped into the elevator, pressed the button for the first floor, and leaned against the back of the elevator, watching the doors slowly shut. Could he handle a relationship like this? Just as his doubts started to take over, his mind started to flood with different thoughts. He thought about the first time he saw her and how his heart started racing and his stomach flipped. He thought about how her eyes were the brightest and purest blue he had ever seen and how they light up when they make contact with his. He thought about her smile. Her fucking breathtaking smile and all the different variations of it. Shy, uncertain, happy, surprised, and sexy. The way her hand fit perfectly into his. The way she shivered at his touches just a little and the way he did the same with hers. Her soft lips and how they felt when they caressed his. And _god_ that laugh that could end wars and make even the most bitter of people crack a smile.

Mulder started to smile softly as his mind began to replay conversations that they had.

_“Why do you want to go out with me? You know nothing about me.”_

_Mulder shook his head with the smile of a man knowing he’s about to be rejected for the second time. “Not true. I know three things.” He held up three fingers. “One, you’re a doctor.” He lowered one finger as his tone changed from playful to sincere. “Two, you’re beautiful.” He lowered another finger as a delicate blush started to form on her cheeks, her eyes lowering to the ground. “And three…” He paused, waiting for her to look up at him. When she did, he lowered his hand and spoke with more confidence than he felt in this moment. “I know I want to get to know you and that’s what dates are for.”_

_Scully sighed. “I’m flattered, but I’m not interested right now.”_

_“Just for right now?”_

Mulder sighed and let his head rest against the back of the elevator as he thought about the little laugh Scully gave him after his bold response.

_“So, do I get to know your name?”_

_Scully hesitated for a second before pulling the left side of her lab coat so it was taut against her chest, the wording written in cursive becoming legible._

_“Dr. Dana Scully, M.D.” Mulder read softly with a smile before looking up at those gorgeous blue eyes that were clearly studying him. “Great name.”_

_Scully’s lips twitched up as she straightened out her coat. “Not as great as Fox.”_

_Mulder winced and turned his head away from Scully, but as soon as he heard her laughter his attention was back on her. “I usually just go by my last name. I only told you my first name as a sign of trust.”_

_“Me, too.” Scully spoke quietly, her eyes never leaving Mulder’s._

Mulder let his eyes close as he imagined her piercing stare that could shake him to the bone. The color of her eyes would be something he would never forget.

_“Hi. What are you doing here?”_

_“I wanted to see you.” Mulder swallowed hard at her posture. Despite the flicker of a smile he thought he saw when she turned her head, her stance was telling him to fuck off._

_Scully’s eyebrow raised even higher, her lips pursing. “So, you wanted to see me but not call me? After two weeks?”_

_Despite the fact that the nurse behind the desk was now watching them in rapt fascination, Mulder new this was his opening to explain. “I am so sorry, Scully. The minute I walked through my apartment door after our dinner I was going to call you but I was given a new case and had to immediately fly out to the middle of nowhere, Massachusetts.”_

_Scully nodded once. “I didn’t know you couldn’t make calls in Massachusetts.”_

Mulder huffed out a laugh at her quick wit and unwillingness to take excuses as he covered his face with his hands.

_“People go on dates to get to know someone they are interested in romantically. That means getting to know the good, the bad, and everything in between and deciding if the person is worth sticking around for.” Mulder leaned forward, towards her but not invading her space. “I thought about you every day for the past few months. No matter what I did, you were in my mind. I was stuck on you. I’m sticking around.”_

Mulder wiped his hands over his face and dropped them to his sides as he opened his eyes just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. There was no way he could just write Scully off. Of course, she had been right in saying that when they first met he had no idea what he was getting himself into, but did her past make her incapable of having a future? No, it didn’t. She wasn’t flawed and she wasn’t broken, she was put through hell and came out the other side. Even just from the little time they have had together, he can tell she is an astonishing woman in so many different ways who makes him very happy. He wants her, the good and the bad.  

Sighing, Mulder slowly pushes himself off the wall and begins making his way out of the elevator when he stops, his hand holding the elevator door open as the image of Scully’s lip trembling and her fingertips clinging to his before he left crossed his mind. She didn’t want him to go. Holy shit, what was he doing just leaving like this?  

“ _I_ don’t want to go.” Mulder whispered to himself as he walked back into the elevator and pressed the number of Scully’s floor.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...I am so sorry for how long this update took to get here. Life got busy and then I lost motivation but I am back and will hopefully be wrapping up this story in the next couple of chapters or so. Sorry this chapter is so much shorter than the others...it was just to help me get back into writing this story. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for sticking with me and the story! :)
> 
> OH! And special thanks and shout out to the one and only DSI_ScullyGibson who motivated me to write more chapters!!! Thank youuuuu!!!

Without the slightest hesitation, Mulder knocked on Scully’s door before lowering his hand down to his side. As he suspected, he didn’t have to wait long for the sounds of feet shuffling to the door, a pause, and the front door opening. He smiled as disarmingly as he could when he saw that the woman Scully had called Melissa opened the door. He watched as she glanced over him once, almost inspecting him, before she suddenly grinned and opened the door wider, motioning for him to come inside. “Good. I’m glad you came back.”

Mulder’s eyebrows raised in question as he walked into the apartment, but before he could question why Melissa was glad he came back, he caught sight of Scully and who he assumed was her mother coming from the direction of her bedroom, both of their eyes red and tears flowing down their cheeks.

When Scully looked up and saw Mulder standing in her apartment, her steps faulted and her heart started beating faster. “You came back?” She managed a hoarse whisper.

Mulder smiled softly at Scully and took a step forward. “I did.” He took another step forward and then another before she released a noise that sounded like something stuck between a laugh and a sob and made her way to him. When she reached him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands resting on the back of his neck, and let her heavy head rest against his chest. She nuzzled further into him when she felt his arms tighten around her waist. “Something just felt wrong about leaving you.” He whispered into her hair.

“I know what you mean.” Scully whispered into Mulder’s chest before lifting her head to look into his eyes. “How long have we known each other?” She joked in a soft, shy, tear filled voice, bringing attention to the connection that they were both very aware of. That inexplicable pull towards each other that they had been feeling since their first meeting.

Mulder smiled down at Scully and brought his right hand up to her face, brushing away the tears from her red cheeks. “I don’t know, about six years? Give or take…a lifetime.” She laughed quietly and let her eyes slowly close as he leaned down and kissed her softly three times, each kiss causing her lips to pull up into an ever bigger smile. Screw keeping the affection to a minimum around her family if it pulls out a smile like _that._

“I hope we can all take a second to appreciate the fact that we are lucky enough to witness two souls reuniting.” Melissa spoke in an almost awe like way, smiling when everyone in the room turned to look at her, three pairs of eyes rolling and one pair squinting in polite confusion.

Scully looked up at Mulder and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry but since you came back here willingly, I can’t save you from this.” She turned her attention back to her sister and his gazed followed. “Mulder, this is my older sister Melissa. She is very… _mystical._ ” She spoke in a fond way as she wiped her tears away slowly.

Melissa crossed her arms and tilted her head disapprovingly. “Hey, it’s not _just_ me, Dana. There are so many Hindu myths that teach about reincarnation and immortal love. The same people fall in love over and over again in different lifetimes because their souls are meant to be together.” She grinned. “I’m getting a similar vibe from the both of you.”

“Missy, honey, let’s not talk about falling in love and soulmates right now. Hello, I’m Maggie Scully, their mother.”

Mulder watched as Scully’s mother stepped forward with a small, somewhat guarded smile, one hand rubbing soothingly on Scully’s back, the other outstretched for him to take. He slowly untangled himself from Scully’s embrace and shook the offered hand. “Fox Mulder. It’s nice to meet you, although under different circumstances would have been better.”

Maggie shook Mulder’s hand and squeezed softly before letting go and placing her hand on Scully’s bicep. “I couldn’t agree more.” Her smile seemed to relax slightly as her eyes roamed over his face before she nodded her head in the direction of the couch. “And that man over there is William Scully, their father.”

Mulder glanced nervously at Scully, her small smile giving him courage as he turned around and made his way towards the man still sitting on the couch, staring at him as if he were trying to burn a hole through him. When he reached the front of the couch, he held out his hand and smiled as best as he could. “Fox Mulder.” He spoke softly.

To Mulder’s surprise, William stood up, shook his hand with a firm grip, and smiled tiredly. “You’ll have to excuse us tonight. No one in the family knew Dana was seeing someone and to find you here so late at night shocked us old fashioned people.” He dropped his hand from Mulder’s and sat back down. “I also won’t pretend that you already have a few strikes against you because of what my daughter has-” He paused and took a deep breath, not knowing how much she had told this man about her past. “At any rate, she might be a grown woman now but she is still my little girl whom I have already failed to protect once.” His eyes met Mulder’s and held for a beat. “That won’t happen again.”

Mulder didn’t drop his gaze as he spoke clearly. “You won’t have to protect her from me, Sir.”

“I hope not.”

Mulder watched as William’s eyes lowered to the ground. He could see a sadness in them and as he looked up and around the room, he noticed that everyone had the same look in their eyes. It was almost a look of defeat, a look of exhaustion and pain. He was quickly realizing just how much this family had been through.

“Did you manage to reach anyone at the hospital, Dana?” Melissa asked softly, breaking the silence and bringing everyone back to the current situation they were in.

Scully sighed as she rubbed her forehead, the headache from earlier growing in severity. “Yeah, they can give me two weeks at most.”

Mulder looked between Scully and Melissa, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “Two weeks?”

Scully looked to Mulder and nodded her head sadly, her brave smile still small and shaky. “I’m taking some time off work. I…I don’t know if h-he knows where I’m working now, too and I can’t have him showing up at the hospital.”

Mulder closed his eyes and nodded his head in understanding. “I am so sorry.” His voice was low and when he opened his eyes to look at Scully, he had to blink twice to ease the stinging. He couldn’t believe that just this morning they were laughing and flirting on a park bench and now…now it seemed like everything in her life would be coming to a stop. He was a little surprised by just how much pain that thought caused him. Even after only knowing her for a short time, he cared for her and didn’t want to see her hurt.

Scully felt a single tear escape her eye and roll slowly down her cheek, her lip trembling as she took a small step closer to Mulder. “ _You_ do not have anything to apologize for, so please don’t.” She held his hazel eyes for a moment before licking her lips and wiping the stray tear away. “I’m going to be staying at my parent’s house as well. I just…don’t feel safe here. Not anymore.” She whispered quietly before looking down, her heart sinking into her stomach at all the old feelings of terror that were invading her mind again. She wasn’t free anymore. 


	13. Chapter 13

“Okay, here we go.” Mulder said softly as he stepped up behind Scully and placed his hands on her shoulders very lightly. When she didn’t flinch or jerk away from him, he took that as a good sign and gently squeezed her shoulders. “If anything triggers you-”

Scully huffed out a small, exasperated laugh and rolled her eyes. Even though her back was to Mulder, she still liked to think he could _feel_ her eye roll. “Say the safe word. Yeah, I know. You tell me every time before we try a new move.” She said with a small smirk as she turned her head to the right and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Mulder tilted his head and gave her a pointed look before placing his right hand on her cheek and gently pushing her face forward. “I’m trying to teach you self-defense moves not send you into a panic attack.”

Smirk growing into a soft, thankful smile, Scully reached her right hand up and placed it over his on her shoulder, gently tracing his fingers for a moment before dropping her hand. “I know and I adore you for that but I also know what I can and cannot handle and right now, I feel safe. I’m okay today.”

“Okay.” Mulder whispered with a small smile before placing a kiss to the back of Scully’s head. He let his lips linger for a moment, breathing in her sweet scent, before straightening up and slowly moving his right arm across the front of her chest in a would be choke hold if he applied any pressure, his left hand then grabbing her left wrist and lightly pulling her arm behind her back. “First step?”

Scully took a deep breath in and closed her eyes for a moment willing the sudden wave of fear to go away. She slowly released her breath and opened her eyes when she felt his grip move from her wrist to her hand and lace their fingers together. “It’s still me, Scully.” He whispered in her ear in a soothing voice. “Want to stop?”

“No.” Scully spoke clearly after a few more deep breaths, her eyes set and determined in front of her as she untangled her fingers from Mulder’s and waited for him to move his hand back to her wrist. “First step. Widen my stance.” She repeated what he taught her earlier and moved her feet apart.

“Good. Next?”

Scully quickly moved her right foot behind Mulder’s so her toes were directly behind his heel.

Mulder nodded his head. “Good. Do you have your balance?”

Scully wiggled a little and adjusted her feet until she was sure she wouldn’t topple over. “Yeah. I can move my right foot forward now, right? So it throws you off a little more?”

“Yeah, exactly. Push your toes into the back of my foot but not so much that you lose _your_ balance.”

Scully nodded once in concentration as she pushed her right foot into Mulder’s even more, smiling just a little in surprise when she felt his grip on her involuntarily loosen as his balance was thrown off a little.

Mulder smirked when he had no choice but to move his feet and loosen his hold on Scully, proud beyond words at how fast she was picking this stuff up. “Alright, now you finish him.”

Scully’s surprised smile turned into a grin as she quickly turned her body to the right, making sure to keep her right foot behind Mulder’s at all times. Once she was facing the opposite direction, she quickly bent forward at the waist causing him to be pushed down with her but because there is only so far one’s body can bend backwards he fell to the ground with a loud thud causing the floor to shake, his grip on her completely gone. “And finally?” He asked from the floor.

Scully put her right hand in her pocket and then quickly pulled it out again, her fingers simply taking the shape of a gun pointing directly at Mulder’s chest. “Shoot center mass.” She answered seriously before moving her thumb down. “Bang.”

“Why do you always shoot center mass?” Mulder asked her just as seriously.

“Bigger target than the arms, legs, hands, and feet.” Scully repeated exactly what Mulder had told her two weeks ago when they had first started this training.

“And what else, Doctor?” Mulder asked with a small smirk.

“The upper torso contains the lungs, heart, and spine…basically everything, that if damaged, would stop him from killing me.”

Mulder practically beamed up at Scully and clapped his hands. “And that would be how my woman kicks ass.”

“Mmm, _your_ woman, huh?” Scully said slowly with a smirk as she moved to straddle his waist, her hands resting on his chest.

Before Mulder could respond, he heard footsteps coming up the steps. He tilted his head back and looked at the open door of Scully’s bedroom, smiling in apology when he saw her father appear in the doorway.

“What are you two doing now?” William asked slowly, his voice a mixture of annoyance and amusement.

Scully smiled up at her father innocently. “Another self-defense lesson, Ahab. Sorry about the floor shaking but I completely dropped Mulder’s ass to the ground.”

Mulder laughed and nodded his head, nothing but pride filling his eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed by William. He loved the way Fox Mulder seemed to simply adore his daughter and he could not have respected the young man anymore if he tried. He stayed with her even when he didn’t have to. “I’m proud of you, Starbuck, but take it just a little easy on the man otherwise you’ll bring the second floor of our house down. Two whole weeks of these self-defense lessons in my old house is not a wise idea.”

“Sorry.” Both Mulder and Scully spoke quickly, the bright smiles on their lips saying they were anything but.

William smirked and shook his head. “Maggie wants to know if you’re staying for dinner again, Fox.”

Scully lightly tapped his chest with her hands, grabbing Mulder’s attention. When he moved his gaze from her father and tilted his head up to look at her, she raised her eyebrows and smiled a little shyly. “You’re staying.”

Mulder held Scully’s gaze for a moment, trying to work out what the look in her eyes meant…well, trying to work out if that look meant what he thought it meant. He swallowed thickly and slowly tilted his head back to look up at William. “Yes, I would love to stay for dinner again.”

William nodded his head before walking down the hallway towards the stairs and leaving them their privacy, his smile only growing when he heard a happy squeal and laughter coming from his daughter. He glanced at the crucifix hanging on the wall halfway down the stairs. “It’s about damn time.” He spoke softly to it. Finally his prayers seemed to have been answered. His little girl was happy and safe.

A few hours later, the whole Scully family was settled around the dinner table, passing around bowls of food and making small talk with each other. Mulder looked around the table and made a mental note of everybody, just like he had been doing for the past two weeks since Dana started staying with her parents and he came to visit her. William Scully, head of the family always sitting of the head of the table at the far right. Good man who seems to like him and approves of his relationship with Scully…whatever it might be. Maggie Scully, freaking saint and basically his second mother who always sat at the other end of the table making sure everyone had everything they needed before she helped herself. She was caring and kind and he could see exactly where Scully got her huge heart from. Then there was Bill Scully, his wife Tara, and their son Matthew. He liked Tara and Matthew just fine and they both seemed to like him as well, Matthew even playing with him a little bit when he was bored of computer games, but Bill…he was a different story. Bill seemed to hate him and for absolutely no reason that he could think of. He glared at him constantly and made him feel like he was violating Scully just by standing next to her. He knew he hadn’t done anything to warrant the treatment and when he asked Scully about it one night, she had simply said that Bill was the one who felt the most guilt over her abusive marriage. Mulder said he understood and left it at that, determined to prove that he could be trusted. He was happy to at least have Melissa, her husband Mark, and Charlie on his side almost instantly. All three of them immediately loved Mulder, especially Mark who could bond with him over law enforcement, basketball, and whether the Yankees were better than the Red Sox.

Mulder was brought back to the present when he felt Scully lean towards him and kiss his cheek softly. He looked to his right and smiled at her, loving the way her eyes were shinning, her cheeks a little flushed, and her left hand resting on his thigh. “Thank you for staying.” She spoke quietly to him before picking up her wine glass with her other hand and taking a small sip of it.

“Of course.” Mulder said with a wave of his hand, letting Scully know she didn’t need to thank him.

Scully watched Mulder for a moment as she continued to sip on her wine. Slowly, she set her glass back down on the table and squeezed his thigh gently. “Stay with me tonight.” She whispered to him, her voice a little shaky.

Mulder stopped chewing his food and raised his eyebrows as he looked at Scully. He quickly swallowed his half chewed food, wincing at the pain that caused in his chest and grabbed his own wine glass as he nodded his head.

“Yeah?” Scully asked happily as she watched Mulder drink his wine.

“Yeah.” Mulder whispered as he set his wine glass back on the table and coughed a little before smiling.

“Just so you know…I’m not sure if I’m ready for...” Scully continued in her soft voice with a sigh, not bothering to finish her sentence. “But…I do want to know what it feels like to fall asleep and wake up in your arms. I want to know if it will feel as safe and as good as I have been imagining.”

Mulder nodded his head and smiled softly before leaning forward and placing a very light kiss to Scully’s lips. “I understand. I’m definitely curious to know what’s it’s like to sleep with you in my arms, too.”

“Good.” Scully whispered against his lips as her smile grew. She kissed him once more, their growing smiles making it impossible for their lips to actually touch, making it more a meeting of teeth, before she wrapped the hand that wasn’t on his thigh around the back of his neck. “You make me happy.”

Mulder looked into Scully’s eyes for a moment, seeing nothing but truth there. The sincerity in her eyes made him rest his forehead against hers and just simply feel her so close to him. “You make me so happy and if I can make you even _half_ as happy as you make me…then I’m doing my job right.”

Scully closed her eyes and laughed quietly, nuzzling her forehead with his a little. “And what job would that be?”

“The very important job of being your _man._ ” Mulder made his words playful, in case she rejected him, but he could not be more serious.

At Mulder’s words, Scully slowly opened her eyes and pulled away from, just far enough that she could search his eyes. She held his gaze for a minute, studying him exactly how she always had since the day they first met all those months ago. “You really want that job?” She whispered in disbelief. 

Without breaking eye contact, Mulder nodded his head quickly and smiled. “Yes, of course I do. I would have thought that would be obvious, actually. I-I think I’m falling-”

“No.” Scully interrupted him and licked her lips, her gaze shifting between one now confused hazel eye and then the other, before she blinked rapidly, trying to prevent tears from forming. “No, don’t say that.” She whispered again before getting up from the table, leaving everyone in confusion.

Later in the evening, after feeling like he had gotten his heart ripped out and threw in the garbage disposal, Mulder helped clear the dinner table and even went so far as to wash the dishes with Maggie and Melissa…anything really to avoid an awkward conversation with Scully. He had just tried to take another step forward with her and came damn close to telling her exactly how he felt about her and then…then she closed in on herself again. He thought they had grown so close in the past two weeks and he also thought, unwisely apparently, that he had managed to gain a little bit of her trust. Before he let himself get lost in his own thoughts, he heard soft footsteps coming from behind him as he took a glass from Melissa to dry it. Slowly he turned around and saw Scully standing in the archway, arms crossed over her chest, and looking very small.

Scully met Mulder’s eyes and took a small, hesitant step forward. “We need to talk.”

Melissa and her mother both exchanged very subtle glances at each other, before Melissa carefully took the glass and towel from Mulder’s hands and gave him a tiny smile when he looked at her. “Go ahead. We can finish the dishes.”

Mulder nodded his head slowly before looking back at Scully. He made his way towards her, expecting to simply follow her to wherever she wanted to lead him, but as soon as he was in arm’s length of her, she unfolded her arms and grabbed his hand, holding onto his fingers like her life depended on it. He held her gaze, noticing for the first time a light red coloring around her eyes. She had been crying? Why? His heart began beating harder against his ribcage as he let her pull him through the living room, up the stairs, and into her bedroom. Once they were inside the room, she gently pushed her hand against his chest, silently asking him to sit on the bed. Still confused and very nervous, he slowly sat down and watched as she moved to the door and closed it. She stayed standing, her back to him and both hands on her bedroom door, for so long he was about to get up and see if she was alright when she slowly slid her hands down the door and turned to look at him, her eyes now a bright red and tears silently streaming down her face.

“I know what you were going to tell me at dinner. I know you were going to tell me that you think you’re falling in love with me,” Scully stopped talking when her voice broke and she slowly wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt. “The reason I stopped you is because I don’t want you to say those words to me without knowing everything. I want to tell you everything.”

Mulder’s eyes widened a little as he sat up straighter on the bed. “Scully, you don’t-”

Scully held up her hand and shook her head. “No, Mulder I do. Please just….just listen and don’t interrupt because I am so afraid that if I stop I won’t find the courage to do this again.” She whispered before walking to him and slowly sitting on the bed next to him. He simply nodded his head and held his breath.

Scully took in a very deep breath and slowly let it out, her eyes staring straight ahead as she began to speak. “I…I was never very good at the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing. When I was a teenager, I never dated…I never even had a boy express any interest in me. And that was fine because I have never been one of those girls who has to be in a relationship to be happy. I was happy coming home every day after school and studying. Then when I went to college and particularly medical school, my body changed and I grew into my features and boys started to notice. I went on dates, I had maybe one or two relationships, but nothing ever went anywhere and I really was not disappointed. I liked my independence and I liked focusing on medicine. I worked such long hours at the hospital during my internship that I really didn’t have time to focus on any other aspect of my life anyway. When I graduated medical school…” She paused and took another deep breath in before slowly releasing it just like she had done before. “Some of the people I went to school with took it upon themselves to find me a nice man who I could marry, build a home with, and have two kids with. Basically be a nuclear family. To say that I wasn’t interested in that would be an understatement but I could admit to myself that going home to an empty apartment every night was a little…lonely at times. So, I didn’t protest much when they set me up on blind dates. …I should have with him.” She said darkly before blindly reaching out for Mulder’s hand and taking it tightly in her own, the grounding effects of his fingers lacing with hers was amazing to her. The small, gentle squeeze he gave to her hand gave her the courage to continue. “I went on a blind date with Stephen and I was fooled by him just like so many other people are. I thought he was kind, very smart, not bad looking, and definitely one of the more interesting men I had been set up with. We ended up dating for three years and during that time I honestly thought I had fallen in love.” Her voice shook slightly on the word love. “It wasn’t love and I know that now.” She said without any shakiness as she looked at Mulder for the first time since she sat down, feeling a strong stab of affection for him as he looked at her with tears clearly visible in his eyes. “I know what love is now and I had clearly settled for a cheap imitation of it. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time. I simply thought this was how love felt and it wasn’t anything like what you hear in those fairytales growing up. So…when he asked me to marry him, I said yes. Throughout our engagement and the first year of marriage he was everything a loving husband should be. That’s why when he hit me for the first time it was such a shock. The abuse…lasted for two years before I finally left him. Fox, I was…I was hurt in every way a man can hurt a woman almost daily and I didn’t leave him because he threatened to kill me and my family if I did.” She started crying and shook her head. “I was so scared.” She sobbed, moving a little closer to Mulder and closing her eyes when he wrapped her in the tightest embrace she had ever been given. “I wanted to die. Every time he would start on me I would pray that this would be it. That he would damage one of my organs beyond repair and I would be free.”

Mulder closed his eyes and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he held a now sobbing Scully as close to him as he possibly could. One of his hands rubbed soft, soothing circles along her back while his other hand gently moved through her hair. He said nothing, just simply let her cry into him and offered his silent comfort.

“I know you think you’re falling in love with me, Mulder but I am already in love with you. I feel with you what I have never felt with anyone. You make me want things I never gave any thought to before. You showed me how I deserve to be treated. You are my person. I want to hear you say those words back to me more than anything but I wanted you to know that I am so fucking damaged from him. Loving me will be hard and you need to know that.” Scully whispered in between her heart wrenching sobs.

Mulder opened his eyes and looked down at the top of Scully’s head, letting his tears fall down his cheeks freely. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I know I said this was going to be the last chapter but I want to continue it for at least one more, maybe two. I'll try my hardest to update quicker than I have been! Thank you to everyone who is still reading this story!

Scully felt her heart skip a beat before starting to pound wildly in her chest, her eyes flicking over Mulder’s face searching for truth in his words. “W-What?” She whispered in a broken voice, sitting up a little straighter.

Mulder tilted his head and smiled just a little. “You heard me, Scully. I love you. I am _in_ _love_ with you.” He repeated softly, reaching out a tentative hand to cup her tear streaked cheek. He gently brushed his thumb over the tear tracks, wiping them away, his small smile growing a little when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “As crazy as it sounds.”

Scully slowly opened her eyes and looked up at Mulder. “It doesn’t sound crazy at all.”

“No?”

Scully simply shook her head, her eyes flicking down to his lips almost of their own accord before immediately flashing back up to his eyes, almost as if she were afraid of being caught looking at the forbidden fruit that she had been denying herself. She paused, for no more than a moment, before closing her eyes and crashing her lips to Mulder’s in the most heated kiss they ever shared. Her body leaned into his strong, steady frame as a soft sigh escaped her lips and passed into his.

To say Mulder was shocked by the sudden display of affection was an understatement. It’s not that he didn’t welcome it with wide, open arms, but really up until this moment Scully had always kept their physical interactions tame and this kiss was starting to turn into anything but. He couldn’t help but close his eyes when he felt her tongue softly run over his bottom lip and her hands move to his waist, holding his sides tightly. He was excited that she was initiating this but also very nervous…nervous about where to put his huge freaking hands, nervous when he opened his mouth to her probing tongue if he should meet her tongue with his own or just stay still and let her have all the control, nervous about how easily the blood started to rush to his groin.

“Mulder…” Scully breathed against his lips quietly, her eyes opening to look up at him as her hands slipped under his shirt and felt the hard and delicious muscles of his abdomen. “I want to try.”

Scully didn’t have to elaborate because Mulder knew instantly exactly what she meant. How could he not. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure I want to _try._ ” Scully made sure to emphasize the word she wanted Mulder to keep in mind. She wanted more than anything to feel his love for her in a physical way but she didn’t know if she would be triggered by something and they would have to stop. She needed him to understand that and by the look in his eye, he did.

Mulder nodded his head quickly, his mouth suddenly dry and his brain apparently not working the way it should either. He let his eyes trail over Scully’s face and down to her hands that were now very subtlety pushing him back. He let her hands guide him and laid back on the bed, his own hands hovering awkwardly in the air as she moved to straddle his left thigh. This wasn’t the first time he had ever been in this position with a girl but it damn sure felt like it in the moment.

Scully could very easily feel all of the tension in his body and smiled fondly at the thought of her big, strong, FBI Agent being so nervous to touch her. The thought simply made Fox Mulder all the more endearing to her. “Nervous?” She whispered in a slightly shaky voice as her hands unhurriedly pushed up his shirt, revealing more and more of his torso. 

Mulder let out a breathy laugh and nodded his head slightly. “Well, honestly how could I not be?”

Scully’s smile became more steady at Mulder’s words as did her hands as she continued to push his shirt up, carefully pulling it over his head and off his arms as he sat up a little to assist her. Without taking her eyes off the chiseled chest under her, she dropped his shirt to the floor and splayed her hands across his chest, licking her lower lip slowly. “You…work out.”

Mulder snorted, a glowing smile on his lips as he placed his hands on Scully’s hips and playfully flexed his muscles for her. “Just a little.”

“Just _a lot_ by the looks of you.”

Shaking his head as Scully started to run her hands along his biceps and forearms, Mulder cleared his throat. “You need to be careful. My head might start to inflate to dangerous proportions.”

“Mmmm, I think you might already be there.” Scully whispered with a teasing smirk before taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it. Without breaking eye contact and her heart in her throat, she slowly dragged her hands down Mulder’s chest and then his abdomen, taking her time to feel all the ridges of his body, then moved to the hem of her shirt. Hesitating for only half a second, she pulled her shirt off and blindly tossed it somewhere over the bed. When her shirt came off, what little courage she had gained managed to disappear. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on just breathing.

Licking his suddenly dry lips, Mulder let his eyes trail slowly over every inch of Scully’s now exposed skin. He started making mental notes about everything he saw. Her perfect breasts encased in a navy blue bra, the color instantly becoming his favorite color ever. The way he could see the soft outline of her ribcage that he was currently running his hands over. Her tiny little beauty mark right below her left breast. And god the way her waist curved was enough to fuel all of his fantasies for years. “You have all these little beauty marks everywhere.” He whispered softly.

“What?” Scully asked quietly as she opened her eyes in surprise and looked down at Mulder. That was honestly the last thing she expected to happen after she took her shirt off.

“Yeah, you have at least ten and I love them.” Mulder said with a growing smile as she ran his hands up and down Scully’s sides. After a moment without any response from the woman above him, he looked up raised his eyebrows. “You okay still?”

Scully held Mulder’s gaze for a beat before clearing her throat and nodding her head. “Y-Yeah, I just…was expecting a different reaction I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just…thought you would…” Scully paused and shook her head, having a hard time putting what she had been thinking into words until she just decided to let her stream of consciousness go without holding back. “I just thought that the shirt coming off would be like your green light to just go ahead and start fucking me… but you’re not. You’re not even staring at my breasts. You’re looking the marks on my skin.”

“And you’re not happy about that?” Mulder asked slowly, trying to make sense of what she was feeling and trying not to grimace too much when she said the word “fucking” with such disgust.

“No, I am!” Scully said quickly before covering her face with her hands and letting out a frustrated groan. “God, I’m sorry. I’m ruining this, right?”

Mulder shook his head as he reached up and gently removed Scully’s hands from her face. “You are not ruining anything, I promise.” He said slowly, lacing their fingers together and giving her hands a soft squeeze before placing them back on his chest. “I know this is going to be hard for you. You’re probably expecting me to do certain things or act like _he_ did but I assure you, Scully I won’t push your boundaries or hurt you.” He paused as he ran his hands up her arms then pulled her down so their chests were touching. “And by the way, I was completely staring at your boobs before you looked at me.”

Scully let out a breathy laugh and closed her eyes, letting her lips lightly brush over Mulder’s. She sighed very softly when she felt his lips start to move against hers, slowly at first and then matching her speed and intensity. He was more than willing to let her set the pace of their kisses and she was grateful for that.

When Mulder felt Scully’s hands slowly start to move down his chest, burning a path along the muscles of his abdomen, and finally coming to rest on his hips, he opened his eyes and slowly broke their kiss. He watched in enthralled fascination as she slowly sat up, gave him what had to be one of the most unintentionally sexy smiles he had ever seen, and started to play with the button of his pants. He took in a deep breath and exhaled, giving her a reassuring smile and a small nod of his head. Once he gave her his silent permission, her eyes fluttered down to where her fingers slowly undid the button of his pants and then unhurriedly unzipped them as well. “Can you stand and…?” She asked in a hushed whisper that fit the mood they suddenly found themselves in as she slowly rolled off of him and kneeled on the bed beside his hips.

“Yeah, of course.” Mulder murmured just as softly as he stood from the bed and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and pushed them down. His eyes flicked up, watching Scully’s face for the briefest of moments before he looked back down to his feet, kicking off his pants and standing in front of her in nothing but his boxers. His boxers that weren’t doing the most admirable job of hiding how much he liked the situation they were in.

Scully held Mulder’s gaze before hesitantly looking down to where she could see the softest outline of a bulge in his boxers. The sight made her heart skip a beat before starting to race, pounding hard against her ribs. Her stomach suddenly felt like it was filled to the top with butterflies but in the best way possible and she smiled. She truly smiled before crawling to the edge of the bed and getting off of it to stand before him, their height difference making her smile even brighter. She reached forward with both hands, tracing the waistband of his boxers before taking his hands in hers and putting them on the button of her jeans. She looked up to him, her smile not faltering as he looked down at her in hesitation. “It’s okay.”

Mulder nodded his head and relaxed just a fraction as he gently began unbuttoning Scully’s jeans and working the zipper down, his knuckles brushing softly against her pelvis causing her to very subtly push her hips into his hand. His small, hesitant smile grew at that action and he gained the confidence he needed to push her jeans down her hips and down her legs to the floor. She actually liked this. She was enjoying herself. He smiled even more and knelt on the floor, helping her remove her feet from the jeans. Once that article of clothing was removed, he lightly ran his hands up along the backs of her thighs and pulled her closer to him so he could press a few kisses along her panty line.

Scully groaned quietly, so much so that it was hardly even audible, but Mulder definitely picked it up just like he definitely felt her hands in his hair, delicately tugging him closer to her pelvis. Only too happy to oblige, he hooked his fingers into her waistband and gently pulled her panties down her legs until he reached her ankles. He didn’t take his eyes off her face for a second, equal parts enraptured and cautious as he watched her. When he saw only pure anticipation on her face as her eyelids fluttered closed and her mouth dropped open a little, he couldn’t help but smile as he carefully slipped the garment off each foot.

Mulder didn’t waste any time standing back up and wrapping his arms around Scully’s waist. He knew that she could feel exactly how badly he wanted her, the evidence clear as day pressing against her thigh through his boxers, but instead of pulling away from him like he had been expecting, she pushed her body closer and slipped her hand slowly into his boxers. His eyes closed when he felt her hand graze over his hardened length lightly, eventually dropping his head to her shoulder when her light touch became more firm and confident. He sighed quietly, focusing on the feel of her hand sliding up and down his aching cock. It was amazing what a few strokes from the woman he loved could do to him. “This feels really good…” He mumbled softly as he lifted his head from her shoulder and studied her face through hooded eyes. “You still doing ooh- okay?” He asked breathlessly, his knees starting to feel a little weak.

Scully’s lips quirked up a little at the corners before she licked her lips and looked away from Mulder’s eyes shyly. “I’m okay. Don’t feel like you need to keep checking on me. If something happens I don’t like I’ll let you know.” She said softly, only wanting to reassure him and let him relax a little. She more than appreciated that he wanted to keep checking on her but it would constantly break the spell they were starting to put each other under. “Now take off your boxers and lay down on the bed. Please.” She added with a small grin, her eyes shifting up to his for a moment.

Mulder watched Scully for another moment before doing as she asked. He pushed his boxers down his hips, hissing just a little when his erection was freed, and then down his legs, kicking them off when they got to his ankles. Without any hesitation he moved to the bed and laid down so his head was slightly reclined against the pillows. Laying there, completely open and exposed felt incredibly intimate, awkward, and arousing. He tried his hardest to keep his eyes focused on her face, drinking in the way her eyes roamed over him as she approached the bed. He knew that she was nervous and he could feel her shaking when she touched him but she definitely didn’t look anything but confident and feral. He couldn’t help but smirk when she moved to straddle his hips again only to be surprised when he discovered that wasn’t what she was doing. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched through hooded eyes as she laid down between his legs and placed both of her hands on his hips. With one last look up into his eyes, she lowered her mouth over his already throbbing cock.

“Oh, fuck…” Mulder mumbled breathlessly as he dropped back onto the bed and closed his eyes in pleasure.

After hearing his voice, Scully looked up at Mulder and felt a surge of pride and power course through her. She was doing this to him. She was making him feel so good that his own arms couldn’t hold him up and…she knew she had complete and utter control over him. She liked it. This was the first time in as long as she could remember when she felt a sense of control in the bedroom and she didn’t want to give it up. She had a feeling he wouldn’t be objecting anytime soon.

Scully gently wrapped her hand around the base of his cock as she moved her mouth up and let him fall out of her mouth. She gave his head one quick stroke of her tongue before her hand got to work pumping him, her saliva making her movements smooth and silky. “Good so far?” She asked with a small, sexy chuckle.

Mulder couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he ran a hand through his hair and then dropped it to the bed, one eye cracking open as he tilted his head to see Scully better, the sight of what she was doing making him groan. “Yeah. Good. Very good. Great.”

Scully’s smirk started to grow as she listened to him struggling to get his words out. With one last look into his eyes, she closed hers and lowered her head back down, taking him as far into her mouth as she felt comfortable with, her hand still sliding up and down in rhythm with her mouth on the part of him she couldn’t fit. She loved his little breathy groans and his occasional grunts of pleasure. She loved the way his hips moved to meet her mouth just slightly but he would always stop himself from actually thrusting. She also loved the way his hands gently rested on her head, not pushing or guiding, just touching, his fingers gliding through her hair every so often. It was intimate and relaxed and she didn’t feel anything but comfortable and _very_ aroused.

Mulder was trying his hardest to focus on holding off his orgasm. He didn’t want this to be over so soon but it had been years since he had this done to him and Scully…god, Scully was amazing. After a few more sucks and well timed licks along his head, he had no choice but to put a hand on her shoulder and open his eyes. “I’m close…” He mumbled slowly as his chest heaved.

Instead of stopping, Scully continued her actions, her eyes opening and locking on Mulder’s, holding a silent conversation with him. She wanted him to let go and she wanted him to do it right now, just in case she had second thoughts when it came time for the main event, and when he finally did, both of their worlds stopped. He was thrown into compete ecstasy, his eyes slamming closed as his mouth opened in a silent scream. She closed her own eyes and hummed when she felt him release down her throat, the power she felt she had over him only increasing with each spurt.

“Oh my god, Dana…” Mulder mumbled after a moment, lost in his own world and completely missing the way she was currently climbing up along his body, a grin on her lips. “That…”

Scully chuckled softly and shook her head as she kissed his cheek and let her body rest on top of his satisfied one. “Don’t be a cliché and stutter or say something romantic.”

“I love your mouth.” Mulder said teasingly as he slowly opened his eyes, her answering laugh that filled the room made his heart swell. “I think that might have been a cliché, though. Now roll over.” He said softly as he delicately tried to get her on her back on the bed.

Scully took in a deep breath as she let Mulder move her, not actively helping him in the slightest. “Okay…wait, wait…” She said quietly once she was on her back and he was hovering over her. Her hands were up in front of her, as she turned her head to the right, staring at the wall for a moment. “I don’t know…”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Mulder whispered, balancing his weight on one hand while his other gently lowered her hands. “It’s just me. I’ll only do exactly what you tell me.” When no response was forthcoming he hesitated only slightly before gently trailing his fingers down her abdomen. He watched only her face but felt her body twitch just slightly. He stopped but when she didn’t make any move to push him away he let his fingers trail all the way down between her legs. “I need a yes or no because I’m just going to take silence as a no.”

Taking in a few more deep breaths, Scully slowly turned her head and opened her eyes, looking up at the man she loved. The man she trusted. “Yes.” She whispered softly, spreading her legs just a little. “Please continue…slowly. This is just a little harder for me because you’re on top of me a-and I don’t have control. You do.”

Mulder let his eyes study Scully’s face, ending with her eyes. He looked at her for a beat before looking down to where her hands were at on her stomach. Gently, he entwined the fingers of his right hand with the fingers of her left and brought them both back down to her center. He couldn’t help but smile softly when he noticed her eyes flutter a little and her mouth part slightly when their fingers brushed against her clit. “I don’t have control. We both do. One of us is not in charge of the other. Let’s just…focus on this for right now.” He said quietly as he let his fingers brush against her clit again, his touch a little more firm this time. He couldn’t stop the soft smile that appeared on his lips when her eyes slowly fluttered closed and her fingers came to rest lazily over his.

“You’re doing good…” Mulder whispered almost reverently, his steady smile growing more when Scully’s lips quirked up just a little. He continued his slow, light touch, watching her face and studying her just like she had done to him on so many different occasions since they met. He loved seeing the way her eyebrows raised a little and then slowly drew together if his fingers slipped and hit a different spot, he loved the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks when he hit the _right_ spot, he also loved the tiny, breathy moans that would occasionally escape her. That was definitely what he loved the most…until her lower body started moving. He looked down memorized as her hips angled up and chased his hand. Now _that_ was his favorite.

Not wanting to do too much too fast, Mulder quickened the speed of his fingers just enough to pull a whimper from Scully. Yeah, that would be a good pace to set. So he did. Keeping his fingers moving, he slowly lowered his body and kissed the soft, sweaty skin of Dana’s neck. He hummed as he tasted her own unique flavor and let his eyes slip closed.

Mulder could feel the blood coursing south in his body, surprising himself when he felt a familiar pressure in his pelvis. He knew he was going to get hard again and the way her breasts were pressing into his chest and the wet, almost lewd sounds that were coming from her center weren’t helping anything. He couldn’t afford to focus on himself right now. All he wanted was for her to enjoy this, whether she had an orgasm or not, he didn’t want her to worry about him.

“Mmm Mulder…” Scully hummed softly after god knows how many minutes of bliss went by, her nails digging into his shoulder blades. It had been so long since she felt this pleasure that she hardly even remembered what an orgasm could feel like but she was damn sure now and she was about to have one. “Mulder…” She gasped again.

Mulder gave Scully’s neck one last suck before releasing her skin and looking up at her face. Two “Mulders” in a row was good. She was almost there. “Don’t think about anything.” He whispered softly as his free hand came to rest against the top of her head, his fingers loosely tangling in her hair. “Just let it come...” He mumbled before connecting their lips in a deep kiss.

And just like that she did. Her mouth fell open but no sound came out except for one, quiet, breathless sob as her body shook almost violently against him. She let her orgasm wash over her, wave after wave of pure pleasure, her body jerking up only to be stopped by his. Fox. Her Fox. The one who loved her seemingly unconditionally and wanted her despite everything. Her walls were down now. Wholly and utterly down.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue coming soon!

“It’s amazing how two weeks ago you went to your parents’ house with a single bag and now I’m carrying what-” Mulder looked down to the numerous luggage bags in his hands as he carefully got out of the elevator. “-four bags!” He said as he looked up at Scully.

Scully smirked and shook her head, glancing over her shoulder at Mulder as they slowly made their way down the hallway to her apartment. “That’s what happens with my mother. I swear to god, half of what you’re carrying is food because she knew I wouldn’t have any.” She said as she fished around in her purse for her keys. “Besides, I told you I had no problem carrying my own bags. You insisted.”

“I know I did but then I remembered how much I hate carrying any sort of bag, luggage or otherwise, and what a strong, independent woman you are, and how you don’t need a man to be all tough and macho.”

Scully snorted and licked her lips as she found her apartment keys. “You are ridiculous, Fox Mulder.”

“You love me and adore me for who I am, though.”

Scully paused, her hand halfway to the door and looked at Mulder. “I do. Thank you for carrying my bags.” She said softly, giving him a charming smile before sticking the key in the lock and turning it.

“Hey, I’ll be your bellhop anytime.” Mulder said as he followed Scully into her apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot. “And I’ll gladly take kisses as payment.”

Scully snorted and shook her head in amusement as she pulled down two wine glasses and set them on the kitchen counter. “Yes, I’m sure you would. Would you settle for a glass of wine for right now, Mr. Bellhop?”

Mulder chuckled softly and nodded his head as he set her bags down by the kitchen counter. “That will do. Then I’ll help you unpack those bags.”

“No, don’t bother, I’ll start on that tomorrow. Right now, I just want to drink this wine and then go to bed.” Scully mumbled as a yawn overtook her in the middle of pouring the red wine into her glass. “And you should have the same plan. You have an early start tomorrow. Where is it you’re going again?” She asked as she poured a second glass for Mulder.

“Coaldale, Nevada, Scully. Ghost town, USA. How could you ever forget?” Mulder asked with a smirk.

Scully couldn’t help but shake her head and snort just a little as she turned and leaned against the counter across from Mulder, reaching out to hand him his glass of wine. “Easily. At the risk of sounding needy, I’m not thrilled about how often your job takes you away from here. I must admit, I really liked having you all to myself for two weeks.” She admitted into her wine glass before taking a slow sip.

Mulder smiled a little, swirling the wine in his glass as his eyes studied Scully’s. “I never thought I would hate traveling for my job. I always loved it. Getting to go to new places and spread my wild and crazy theories all across America,” He said with a tone that made it clear he knew that people thought of his work. “But you just had to ruin all that. I would rather stay here because I have you. I don’t want to go but this is still my job right now.”

“I know.” Scully said slowly before taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it. “Get a new one.”

Mulder chuckled as he drank some of his wine. “I’ll look into it.”

When the distant sound of church bells rang in the distance signaling it was now nine o’clock, Mulder set his half-finished wine on the counter and checked his watched.

Scully watched him sadly as she set her wine glass down on the counter as well and took the few steps towards him to close the distance between them. She leaned into him and kissed his neck a few times. “You could stay here and go to the airport from here in the morning.” She suggested as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with a gentle smile. “One more night together before you leave me for weeks.”

Mulder smiled sadly as he gently cupped Scully’s face for a moment and then brushed her hair back. “I just need to run to my apartment and pack my bags and I’ll be right back. Half an hour tops.”

“Thank you.” Scully whispered as her smile grew. Giving him one last squeeze, she stood up on the tips of her toes and kissed his lips lightly. “Now hurry.”

Mulder grinned and shook his head as Scully stepped away from him. “My feet have wings.” He said playfully, his grin stretching across his face and his stomach doing summersaults when his pathetic line pulled a giggle from her. “Like that one?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Half an hour.” Fox repeated softly, giving Scully one last smile before walking out of the door.

“I’ll be here…” Scully whispered to herself, the silence of her now empty apartment closing in on her. She didn’t like being alone. Not anymore. But she wasn’t alone and that became clear when a rough hand pressed on her stomach from behind, pulling her back as another hand covered her mouth so tightly it was instantly hard to breathe.

“Hello, my beautiful wife. I’ve missed you so much, darling.” Stephen whispered in Scully’s ear. He quickly buried his nose in her hair and breathed in her scent before yanking her head back and kissing her neck. “Mmmm, still taste just like you even after all this time.” He whispered against her skin as she began to struggle against him. He kept his hands firm against her but let the hand on her stomach slip under her top and caress her bare skin. He laughed softly when her knees buckled and she tried to drop to the ground and away from him. “Where do you think you’re going? Haven’t you missed the touch of your husband? Don’t tell me that man you’ve been spending so much time with can touch you like I do. He’s nothing, my love. Nothing.”

Scully closed her eyes, her heart racing, and panic setting in. She knew she had been trained by Mulder how to get out of this hold but she couldn’t remember anything. She had no idea what to do. She was freezing in place as every ounce of fear she had ever felt because of Stephen came rushing back to her.

“What’s his name? Hmmm? Fox Mulder? Special Agent in the FBI?” Stephen whispered with a grin, enjoying the way Scully’s eyes widened in shock, tears pouring out of them now. “He is not allowed to touch you or even speak to you without my fucking permission and he needs to learn that.” He said with a small growl as he pulled a gun out of the back of his pants, flashing it in front of her eyes. “Think this will teach him a lesson? Never mess with another man’s wife.”  

Scully tried to scream and shake her head but all that came out was the muffled sounds of her sobbing. “Please don’t hurt him.” She kept saying over and over again, despite the fact her words were intelligible against his suffocating hand. She just wanted to say those words out loud. Please don’t hurt the man she loves…

Stephen shook his head and sighed before slamming Scully into the island countertop in her kitchen, her stomach hitting the edge and forcing her to cry out in pain. He ignored her screams and her sobs as he set the gun down on the counter and pulled something else out of his pocket. “Remember these? Did you miss wearing them?” He spat out as he roughly shoved her wedding band and then her engagement ring on her ring finger. “Don’t you ever take those off again, you slut!” He yelled before grabbing her ring finger and bending it further and further back until he felt a pop and she began to scream even louder beneath him. “There. Much better. Don’t ever forget that you belong to me. You are all mine. We will always be together for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

When those vows were voiced out loud, Scully’s marriage, her horrible marriage, rapidly flashed before her eyes from the very beginning until this moment. Every painful memory, every ache and pain, she felt it all again…but wouldn’t go through that again. Never again. For the first time in her marriage, she fought back.

Opening her eyes, Scully slipped her foot behind Stephen’s at the same time she bit his hand as hard as she could. When he yelled out in pain and loosened his hold on her a little, she immediately pushed her hips back into him, her foot she had placed behind his tripping him. As he fell back into the counter opposite them, she grabbed the gun he had placed near her head and turned around, aiming right at the center of his chest, her eyes cold and locked onto his. “Till death do us part? Well, if that’s what it has to come to.” She whispered shakily, her body ignoring all pain and running on pure anger and adrenaline.

Stephen, still in shock, slowly began to smirk as he watched Scully as he recovered. “Wow. Not bad. Looks like your fed boyfriend taught you a little something after all but let’s end this while you’re ahead. I would hate to have to kill you, Dana. I do love you after all.”

Scully cocked the gun and placed her finger on the trigger. “Fuck you. Don’t move or I will shoot you.” She said slowly and clearly as she moved slightly to the left, going for her phone in the living room.

All of the amusement Stephen had at watching his pathetic wife trying to defend herself went out the window when he finally realized how serious she was. “How dare you threaten me?” He said quietly, his voice low with rage. “Do you realize that if I don’t kill you now, you will be so beaten and bruised, you won’t be able to move for months?” He said before lunging for her.

Without any hesitation, and just like Mulder told her, Scully fired the gun and aimed directly for Stephen’s chest and watched him take his last breath.

“And that’s how it happened...” Scully would later explain to the police officers that had taken over her apartment and declared it a crime scene. She tried to keep her voice calm and steady but the sobs eventually came and only began to subside when she saw Mulder come through the door, his face showing every bit of terror she was feeling. He held her that night throughout the questioning at the police station, he held her in his bed when the officers told her she was free to go for the evening, he was with her through every step of the investigation process, he cried with her, tears of joy, when it was ruled as self-defense and that no charges would be filed against her, and when it was all over, he whispered in her ear that she was finally free.


End file.
